Fractured

“I’m a typical
Hypocritical,
Egotistical-minded
Individual.
I’m a silent fuse,
I’m a tightening screw
And I might be everything
That is wrong for you.

Because I’m fractured:
Get your hands off me!
Because I’m fractured:
Get your hands off me!
Because I’m fractured:
Get your hands off me!
Get your hands off me!

I’m a cynical,
Analytical,
Apocalyptical-minded
Individual.
I’m a twisted wheel,
An Achilles’ heel
And I can’t communicate
Anything I feel.

Why?

Because I’m fractured:
Get your hands off me!
Because I’m fractured:
Get your hands off me!
Because I’m fractured:
Get your hands off me!
Get your hands off me!

Fractured,
Because I’m fra—”

[ Fractured – Hurts ]

Actually, this is the first photo from the Faith batch of the Inspiration Hurts project that I conceptualised. It’s a very distinctive song, with its experimental feel, immediate visual motives, super-relatable lyrics and… well, full-blown weirdness, in a good sense. It’s almost rapped, except half of it is whispered and the other is downright spit with contempt. God, I missed Hurts at their best.

So yeah, this is a photo that was practically taking itself from the get go: a dirty, cracked glass, and each piece shows a different reflection or scene, all in a different state of neurotic meltdown. Something unpretty and experimental to go along with the music of the song, while providing an immediate link with the imagery in the lyrics.

Shooting the photos was pretty quick and easy: I did it in the same session as Voices, being careful to have the same light and, especially, focal distance so that I would be the same size on each piece of the “puzzle”. Beside being the quickest and easiest solution, I wanted to model myself because I can absolutely relate with this song.

The biggest load of work was definitely postproduction: I started by working on the cracks, which I drew myself (I’m trying to avoid unnecessary outings due to the pandemics, so there was no way I would hunt the city for a broken window or something), then I preemptively shaped all the masks on solid colour layers so it would be easier to insert the individual photos, added each self-portrait, beauty-retouched each of them on the spot, made sure the composition made sense, turned it monochromatic and added the dirty glass texture for a more photorealistic effect. It took me about one whole evening, but it’s one of those graphic projects that relax me while keeping me challenged at the same time, so I actually had a lot of fun.

I’ve got another couple of photos that I can do quickly and easily now before Faith hits the “I need a couple modelling for me” standstill that has swamped the previous three albums. I think I’ll try to take them in the coming weeks while still high on inspiration from the recent album release, then we’ll see where these crazy times take us.

Stay safe, everybody.

Voices

“Say my name
And save me once again,
Just say my name.
Too far gone,
Is this where I belong?
Am I too far gone?

I can hear them in my head and I,
I can hear them and I wanna get ‘em out.
I can hear them in my head
Getting louder now.

So endlessly
These voices keep on calling me to rise,
These voices keep on praying for me,
These voices keep on praying for me:
I can’t stop them now.

Each step I take
I make the same mistake,
But they scream my name.
And I know it’s wrong
To keep marching on and on,
But I’m too far gone.

I can hear them in my head and I,
I can hear them and I wanna get ‘em out.
I can hear them in my head
Getting louder now.

So endlessly
These voices keep on calling me to rise,
These voices keep on praying for me,
These voices keep on praying for me:
I can’t stop them now.

I keep hearing them,
Hearing them come,
Hearing them voices.
I keep hearing them,
Hearing them come,
Hearing them voices.

I heard them say,
I heard them say,
I can’t stop them now.
I can hear them in my head and I,
I can’t stop them now,
I can hear them and I wanna get ‘em out.
I can hear them in my head
Getting louder now.

So endlessly
These voices keep on calling me to rise,
They keep on calling me, yeah.
These voices keep on praying for me,
These voices keep on praying for me:
I can’t stop them now,
I can’t stop them now.”

[ Voices – Hurts ]

To put it mildly, I wasn’t very impressed the first time I listened to Voices. Coming off the heels of the huge personal disappointment that was Desire, an album so bland and generic that any lesser band could have recorded, the funky rhythm and acoustic guitar of this song’s intro made me worry that the previous album wouldn’t be an unfortunate yet isolated misstep, but the new standard for an insipid musical production by a band that once left one of the biggest marks on my own artistry (though admittedly, I still thought Voices was better than anything on Desire). And honestly, I have no plans to adapt any songs on Desire into photos for the time being: I might after I’m done with everything else on Hurt’s catalogue, but I’m definitely in no hurry. So yeah, I was worried for the future of the project.

Thankfully, upon release Faith has proven a full return to form (even to pre-Surrender standards, at that) and I immediately started mining it for inspiration. Even Voices itself has grown on me with a few spins, and the lyrics have provided me with enough material to start working on a visual rendition.

Now, admittedly, “voices” might not be the easiest concept to represent visually, but since the lyrics specify they are prayers, I decided to use a multitude of hands encircling the main character in the photo, some joint in prayer, some bearing offerings such as candles, some just reaching out. Since the song is ambivalent on whether those voices are good or not, if their uplift is welcome or not, I decided the situation with the hands in my photo, too, would be ambiguous: are they helpful? Are they trying to save the main character? Are they pulling him apart? I leave it open for the viewer to decide.

On a production note, all the hands are obviously my own because, after a new surge in covid cases in my area, I’m back to stricter social distancing and would rather avoid shooting with other people. I tried as many different angles and poses as possible to give the photo the visual equivalent of a crowded, nosy space with many different pitches and words all spoken all at once.

As for general aesthetics, beside using dramatic lighting I went quasi-monochromatic because it’s the prevalent aesthetic for this Hurts era, and chunked up the grain and scratches as a homage to the grittiness of the lyric video for the song.

I’m already working on the next Inspiration Hurts photo, which I shot in the same session as Voices, and another one is coming as soon as possible. I’m really glad for this inspiration spree and I’ll try to milk it as much as I can.

Somebody

“I am not a victim, I’m not a fool,
I am not a pawn to be abused.
It was never real, it was never love
And I’ve had enough.
I don’t wanna listen, I don’t wanna try
‘Cause you that know that I’ll never miss you or the way you lie.
I don’t wanna listen, I don’t wanna stay,
But I finally got the strength in me to say,

I’m gonna find somebody
To treat me better than you.
Gonna find somebody
To treat me better than you,
Treat me better than…
I’m sick and tired of the things you’ve done, but
You won’t be laughing when I find someone,
Somebody
To treat me better than you,
Treat me better than…

You think you’re funny, I’m not amused.
You will never win, I’ll never lose.
‘Cause now I’m better
In spite of you, in spite of you.
Now you wanna listen, now you wanna try,
But you know that it’s too late to apologise.
So just think about me, what you wanna say
As you stand alone and watch me walk away.

I’m gonna find somebody
To treat me better than you.
Gonna find somebody
To treat me better than you,
Treat me better than…
I’m sick and tired of the things you’ve done, but
You won’t be laughing when I find someone,
Somebody
To treat me better than you.

Somebody that ain’t like, ain’t like you,
Somebody that ain’t like you.
Somebody that ain’t like, ain’t like you,
Somebody that ain’t like you.
Treat me better than…
Somebody that ain’t like, ain’t like you,
Somebody that ain’t like you.”

[ Somebody – Hurts ]

Well, long time no see.
After the huge disappointment that was Desire, Hurts have come back with the much better, much more inspiring Faith… a good 60% of which are post-break up songs along the lines of “It’s not me, it’s you. Bitch.”.
Considering that Stay, a photo from the Inspiration Hurts project, was the casus belli that derailed a certain friendship I’m still quite rancorous about, I’ve decided I’m not only gonna roll with it, I’m milking it for all its worth without even bothering with subtlety! It’s a sign, it’s made for me, for my project to go on in spite of that particular incident and all the others before (looking at you, Wonderful Life and some other seven photos from this projects that have been on hold because of that certain person)!

Somebody is the first new song I’m adapting into a photo for pragmatic reasons: it’s already October, the weather has been getting worse and worse, and with my having to be half in water it’s basically now or next year. Which honestly, thanks but no thanks: this project needs to be much more veni, vidi, vici from now on, anything I can do now I’m gonna do now.
There are other songs from Faith that have given me more concrete imagery to base photos off, so I decided to use the freedom Somebody allows me to go fully self-referential. Besides taking a clue from Theo’s jerking dance moves in the video, which would look kinda amazing in the water, I decided to go shoot at the very same location where I shot the last photo I published with the person I’m throwing shade at, dressed in similar colours, from a similar angle, with similar light conditions, and I even used the same colour filter in postproduction. It’s literally me replacing them in the photo, only this time it’s inspired by a song that literally says they’re gonna be replaced with someone better, and having a damn good time with it.
I’m not gonna name names, but if you scroll through my gallery and look at one of my latest portraits by the sea, you’ll recognise the shape of the rocks.

On a side note, the music video for Somebody features multiple shots of flamingos and a vulture eating from a skull, while the single artwork and video thumbnail for the song are close-ups of a flamingo. Since I was lucky enough to have a couple of cormorants hanging around, I decided to incorporate them into the photo as a nod to the original visuals.
Also, the beautiful t-shirt I’m wearing is an original design by my friends at Kingyo Sukui: check them out, they’ve got some amazing merch!

I mentioned I’ll try to speed up things with the Inspiration Hurts series and I’ve already planned many new photos from Faith. I’m probably influenced by the DIY aestehtics of the album cover and promo photos (many of which were takend by Adam and Theo themselves during lockdown), so a lot of ideas are studio self-portraits which I’ll be able to take quickly, most likely in a couple of weeks, after I get a haircut. Wouldn’t want to let that perfect haistyle go to waste, would we?