Storm Song

“I’ll send a storm to capture your heart and bring you home.
Oh, carried on the breeze, you’ll never find me gone.
Oh, faster than the post train, burning like a slow flame on,
I’ll send a storm to capture your heart and bring you home.

Even though the landscape stretches like a hard day,
Even though the old man says I have a fool’s plan,
Oh, despite the distance, you will see my footprints,
I will raise my flagpole, I will turn these tables ‘round.

I’ll send a storm to capture your heart and bring you home.
Oh, carried on the breeze, you’ll never find me gone.
Oh, faster than the post train, burning like a slow flame on,
I’ll send a storm to capture your heart and bring you home.

Though I’ve said the worse things, and I can’t reverse things,
Secrets of the floor lay gambled in the doorway.
Oh, I’ve made the mistakes and I have learnt the hard way,
Even though you leave me crying like a banshee, ooh…

I’ll send a storm to capture your heart and bring you home.
Oh, carried on the breeze, you’ll never find me gone.
Oh, faster than the post train, burning like a slow flame on,
I’ll send a storm to capture your heart and bring you home.”

[ Storm Song – Phildel ]

As I promised, here is the second work from The Disappearance Of The Girl. As I’m going to follow the tracklist, it is inspired by the second track of Phidel’s album.
Compared to other photos from this series, working on Storm Song was quite easier from a brainstorming and conceptual viewpoint: the most prominent metaphor, the storm, is quite visual and provided me with a perfect standpoint to develop my own rendition. The idea of Luisa summoning a storm like in the chorus of the song was quite powerful to begin with, and Trieste, a seaside city, provides with interesting locations for this kind of images. The rest was sheer luck: the weather changed into murky and very windy, which on the one hand gave me the perfect light and background conditions, and on the other gave the photo a certain dynamism and realism with Luisa’s hair blowing in the wind (although we had to tie most of it because the wind was very strong, as you can see by the charm in her bracelet blowing too).
I did a bit of digital enhancement to the concept by having some clouds gathering around Luisa’s hands to strengthen the idea of her conjuring the storm rather than being in the middle of it, and I linked the image further to Phidel’s visuals by adding the same windrose you can see in the video, also to “point” the storm to the right direction and look for the person in the lyrics (it is actually accurate in my photo: that’s really west, which I signed with the O for “ovest”, in Italian, because it would look a bit too similar to the N and E otherwise).
All in all, once the weather conditions I needed were met, this was a rather easy photo to pull off, but just as satisfying as the more complex ones from the series. It has a generally darker mood than the previous one as the song itself is more energetic and, again, I wanted to stay true to its sound and mood.

The Disappearance Of The Girl

“I don’t know where I’ve been,
And it’s been such a long time
Since I really saw the difference
Between you and I…
And I don’t know where I stand,
Faced with a cruel world.
I’d say everything points to
The disappearance of the girl…

Ooh, yeah-hey, yeah-hey,
If I, if I could persuade you…
Hey, yeah-hey, yeah-hey,
You know, you know he betrays you,
Hey, yeah-hey, yeah-hey,
As much, as much as he saves you.
Yeah-hey, yeah-hey.

I need you to see
There’s not much innocence
In the imposed darkness
Of imposed silence.
I need you to see
The good in everything,
For the only thing that saves you
Is your economy of blessings.

Ooh, yeah-hey, yeah-hey,
If I, if I could persuade you…
Hey, yeah-hey, yeah-hey,
You know, you know he betrays you,
Hey, yeah-hey, yeah-hey,
As much, as much as he saves you.
Yeah-hey, yeah-hey.

Are you still waiting
For the real thing to save you?
‘Cause it isn’t there
And you know that he doesn’t even care
About you.

Ooh, yeah-hey, yeah-hey,
If I, if I could persuade you…
Hey, yeah-hey, yeah-hey,
You know, you know he betrays you,
Hey, yeah-hey, yeah-hey,
As much, much as he saves you.
Yeah-hey, yeah-hey.”

[ The Disappearance Of The Girl – Phildel ]

So, here is the first work from the new series, inspired by the title track of the album, which was also the first photo Luisa and I shot. As dark as Phildel’s music can be at times be, one of its fundamental qualities is a certain frailty, delicacy and etherealness, which I tried to capture in the work that “introduces” the project.
Despite the song being about a very dark subject, namely Phildel’s segregation at the hands of her stepfather, it still feels very bright, almost mystical to me. While in the accompanying video she represented the “disappearance” as drowning, I tried a more metaphorical approach by making Luisa fade into light, as if she were being engulfed by bright white fabric in a ritual sacrifice. I can feel some kind of acceptance in the song, which is why I gave the photo a kind of ecstatic ascension to a higher level of conscience aesthetic, like a Rapture of sort.

The hardest thing about this photo was getting the fabric to look right: I wanted it to look both recognizable and unreal at the same time, as well as dynamic enough to be engulfing Luisa while being very bright. There you can see my curtains, a couple of bedsheets and some spare white tulle I had. Also, I needed all that white not to distract the attention from the model. The light entirely comes from the window behind, so I had to work hard with the exposition to get the photo right. Luisa did a grat work at portraying the kind of ecstatic disappearance I had in mind, so the result is exactly what I wanted for the photo.

The Disappearance Of The Girl: presentation

Among the several music albums released last year, one of the most beautiful and inspirational was hands down The Disappearance Of The Girl by Phildel. Her music has got everything I love and find inspirational: delicate melodies, elegant arrangements, emotional depth and lots of symbolism in the lyrics. As ambitious as she is, Phildel also released a video for almost each of the songs in the album, adding some beautiful visuals to ther music.

The story behind her creativity and the reason why her music is so pristine, personal and intertwined with images is quite shocking: when her parents divorced, her mother remarried to an abusive religious fundamentalist who banned music altogether from the household, deeming it an unholy waste of time. Phildel, who was eight at the time, grew up isolated from contemporary music and forced to practice in secrecy at school during break. As music was such a huge emotional output for her, she started “visualising” melodies in her head in order to keep up her creativity, until she ran away from home and started a new life. Finally free, before she released her debut vocal album, her instrumental music made it to several advertisements on TV and on the net, including the Apple iPad 3 commercial.

Given all the circumstances, it’s no wonder hes music proved to be this inspirational not only to me, but also to my dear friend Luisa, who introduced me to Phildel’s music in the first place. She’s an artistically very sensitive soul, so was deeply touched by these songs, just as I was. And since I always love working with her when it comes to photography, we decided to take some pictures inspired by the album together.

We started talking about this project last year, but due to her job and my studies, as well as living very far from each other, we could not arrange anything concrete for a long time. Meanwhile, I kept brainstorming and gathering ideas for the photos, as the thought of making a whole series about this album really fascinated me. At long last, we arranged to meet this year in early May and set things in motion. 

From an aesthetic and technical viewpoint, this project is primarly photographic. Nevertheless, due to the delicacy and specificity of the symbols in the lyrics, it also requires some digital touches every now and then. I wouldn’t call any work a downright photomanipulation, though, as I’ve worked on actual photographs to a much greater degree than, say, the Infernal Lords. All the digital art is strictly aimed to enhach qualities already in the photos or, occasionally, give them a mystical or surreal twist to fit the overall mood and symbolism of the songs, rather than producing a brand new image out of thin air. So yeah, I’d still call all the works photographs despite some of them requiring some very laborious editing.
While being a huge fan and knowing the songs very well, Luisa is the perfect model for this series also due to her delicate, Pre-Raphaellite-like features, which naturally recall the kind of mystical imagery I wanted to allude to.

Now, if you’re afraid you’re going to face another long-term, slowly proceeding, never finishing series of mine, with a photo popping up once in a blue moon, don’t be. Due to the aforementioned constraints, this time we had to do it quickly. I brainstormed ideas for all the photos on time before Luisa came to visit me, we planned all the styling and make up beforehand, and finally we shot all twelve photos within two afternoons on consecutive days. It was quite a tour de force: we took advantage of every second we had to shoot, as the weather was constantly and rapidly changing so we had to fit certain photos which needed a particular mood and light into those narrow windows of time, or else we could not have a second chance. Also, differently from my usual method, I really did a lot of takes to be sure each photo was technically perfect, as all twelve had to make the final cut and be published. It was quite tyring, but very rewarding nevertheless.

Unfortunately, I could not bring myself to postproducing the photos until just recently due to previous commissioned jobs I had to work on, as well as exams and other business at university. As I mentioned above, I knew from the start that the postproduction would be a massive process here, so I rather waited to have my head clear of other business and be able to fully commit to this series. It is a very important work to me, so I just wanted it to be perfect, even if it took more time to complete it. So far, both Luisa and I are extremely satisfied with the results, so I can say it was worth the wait. I will be publishing one photo per day and I hope you’ll be enjoying them as well.

Illusions

“Decode the half forgotten memories
Reverberating distantly.
Some have moments that they can’t subdue,
Some take part in the electric blue.

Look away, look away...

He watched the lines and the curvature
And traced her silhouette.
She stayed the moment with a glimpse and a frown.
She took the fates by surprise.
She was the model for the end of days.

Some have moments that they can’t subdue,
Some take part in the electric blue.

Look away, look away...
Look away, look away...

These are the days now,
This season will change us.
Be someone, trust no one,
Vicious circle, never ending.
These are the days now,
This season will change us.
This breakdown, disruption,
Ease the pain now, please start ending.

Disarrayed and renewed,
And everything’s electric blue.
Polarised and dismayed,
When everything else is just untrue.

Disarrayed and renewed,
And everything’s electric blue.
Polarised and dismayed,
When everything else is just untrue.

And everything’s electric blue,
Everything else is just untrue.

Everything is electric blue,
Everything is untrue.”

[ Illusions – Theatre of Tragedy ]

For some reasons not even I can quite understand, in my mind there is some sort of bond between Hollow, Frozen and Illusions, which are three songs on Theatre of Tragedy’s majestic album, Forever Is The World. So, I decided to do matching works about those songs with assembled photographs, because they kept giving me lots of images but none of them did represent the song as a whole. The idea is to make up images looking like a glossy magazine editorial with fashion portraits and a waterolour-looking title.
To be honest, I could have shot this one any time in the past months – indeed, I shot the ceiling of the top left photo like ages ago aptly for this project. But I absolutely wanted BriarRose to be in it and I needed Milan Central Station as the location, which isn’t exactly the best of matches because she hates that station and admittedly it’s not the best of places for a woman to wear fancy clothes in. The wait paid off, though, because meanwhile she sew herself this amazing dress for a Hunger Games cosplay, which was perfect for the photos. The funny thing is, I wanted it but it was her who suggested we could use it for this shoot in the first place. Yay for sibling telepathy!
Another good reason for waiting is the song is not very straight-forward when it comes to its meaning and, out of the three, it gave me the hardest time to figure out what to do. When I went to Norway in April I had the chance to have a long nice talk with Nell Sigland and discuss pretty much all the Theatre of Tragedy songs which she contributed writing, including this one. This helped me refine the general idea and confirm which parts I wanted to develop visually. I decided to cover the lines of the lyrics I feel were most emotional or visually striking: the silhouette (which is why I needed this particular location: those huge windows!), looking away (Nell’s voice gives me shivers on those lines) and, of course, the electric blue, which was also a working title for the song at some point. I also had quite some luck, because while I had planned all along to construct a geometrical composition with each photo pointing to the next, there was no way I could possibly have BriarRose look exactly at the central point of the next photo, but amazingly, she did.
The next and final work from this series will be Frozen, and it will have to wait until God knows when because I will need to find myself in a certain place with, ah ah ah, snow. Which would be easier done than said if I lived in some fancy Northern country, but alas, Italy is what we get. We won’t be talking about it before next winter anyways.
Meanwhile, enjoy Illusions, possibly while listening to the related song meanwhile!

The Narcissist Song

“Hello again, it’s me
Whispering noises in your ear.
I’m the voice you can’t ignore,
I’m the born that you don’t want to hear,
I’m the choice that you regret,
The army that you led.
I’m the branch within your eye,
I’m the stalker, I’m the spy.

And my mum has told me never to go out,
And the daughter should have never screamed and shouted.
And the grave you dig me never will be found.
Take the best from me – never strike it down.

Please, write a book about yourself:
You’ve deserved the attention.
The dramas you live through
Are those to be mentioned.
Threw everything in flames.
The world’s on fire
To suffocate my name,
Identities I want to hire.

And my mum has told me never to go out,
And the daughter should have never screamed and shouted.
And the grave you dig me never will be found.
Take the best from me – never strike it down.”

[ The Narcissist Song – Leandra ]

Here we go again with the Morphine series, Isomorphine part. I have to admit that thematically it is very close to the two Mirrors Of Decay, as all three works feature me as the model and mirrors. In the case of The Narcissist Song, though, there are other reasons: the mirror is meant to represent the idea of narcissism and I decided to model myself because… well, with such a title this song has to be mine. There is also a certain degree of surrealism as the reflection is different from the “real” world: this choice was made because I wanted to represent the subtle creepiness of the melody, creating a somewhat disquieting image. Also, the two figures act differently: the “real” me is more insecure, with the diary (the “book about yourself”) closed to keep the secrets, while the reflection looks more cocky and holds the open diary to represent narcissism and the deserved attention. Finally, the lit candle represents a sort of homage to the self. My original concept included the addition of some painted daffodils in my hair, but I eventually scrapped the idea because the photo was already very rich in details.
The concept for this work was born the first time I listened to the song: the mirror in the corridor of my house in Trieste with the two lamps on both sides fit perfectly the idea, so it was quite immediate. On a side note, I shot the photo before the Easter break with the help of my mother, DamaInNero, who had come to Trieste for a short visit. We shot the photo in about five minutes right before going to the airport to fly back at her place for the holidays, so I wasn’t even sure the outcome would be good. Fortunately it is and after postproducing it I’m totally in love with this photo!

A Fine Day To Exit

“Deep inside the silence, staring out upon the sea.
The waves are washing over half forgotten memory.
Deep within the moment, laughter floats upon the breeze,
Rising and falling, dying down within me.

And I swear I never knew, I never knew how it could be.
And all this time, all I had inside was what I couldn’t see.
I swear I never knew, I never knew how it couldn’t be.
All the waves are washing over all that hurts inside of me.

Beyond this beautiful horizon lies a dream for you and I.
This tranquil scene is still unbroken by the rumours in the sky.
There’s a storm closing in, voices crying on the wind.
The serenade is growing colder, breaks my soul that tries to sing.
There’s so many, many thoughts when I try to go to sleep,
But with you I start to feel a sort of temporary peace.
There’s a drift in and out, drift in and out,
Drift in and out, drift in and out,
Drift in and out, drift in and out,
Drift in and out, drift in and out,
Drift in and out, drift in and out,
Drift…”

[ Temporary Peace – Anathema ]

This is how I spent my Valentine’s Day: out at the beach taking photos with my mom.

I needed some time before I got back at editing these pictures because it was a strangely emotional day. We went there to pay a visit to the tomb of our cat Murka and then went for a walk looking for some photographic ideas (and dropping both our lens caps in the sand, yay). I don’t really know how these two photos came out, but in some ways they were very cathartic. I was already in a gloomy Anathema mood after shooting The Lost Child and the sound of the waves, the wind and the murky sky amplified it. Plus, visiting my cat’s tomb felt a bit strange: it was the first time I got the feeling there was actually someone buried there, that if I dug I could still find her body there. I understood what they mean when they say tombs are made for the living, to give them a faint connection to the dead and make them feel closer.

I’m still missing Murka badly and I was that afternoon, too, but there was some sort of cold comfort in thinking we have a special place to remember her by. And after all, I was still there with my mom doing one of the things we love the most – photography – and we have countless memories of Murka to share and warm our heart with. It felt refreshing after a whole week of apathy: I’m not very good at connecting with my feelings and photography is one of the few things that helps me do so, especially when people I love are involved. Perhaps that’s the reason why it felt so liberating to hand my camera to my mom and have her picture my feelings while I was humming the song. That moment didn’t felt lonely or painful because we put our feelings into the photos and let go a bit of the hurt.

This is why, after editing the photos, I decided to wait a couple more days and publish them today, which is my mom’s birthday: it’s beautiful to have someone always to count on, to know we can always comfort each other not only with words, but just by sharing these moments.
I love you, mom.

Internal Landscapes

“‘And I felt myself going. I was in a great deal of pain. It was a very frightening experience, but I began to slip, to just sort of feel myself going. And I remember trying to hold on, I’ll be ok, I’ll be ok, and it got to the point where I just couldn’t, and everything began to just become very quiet. And I can remember with every ounce of strength I had I wanted to say goodbye to my wife. It was important to me. And I did, I remember just turning my head, looking at her and saying, ‘I’m gonna die. Goodbye Joan.’ And I did.
It was then that I experienced what we call a near-death experience. For me there was nothing near about it. It was there. It was a total immersion in light, brightness, warmth, peace, security. I did not have an out-of-body experience, I did not see my body or anyone about me, I just immediately went into this beautiful bright light. It’s difficult to describe. Matter of fact, it’s impossible to describe. Verbally, it cannot be expressed. It’s something which becomes you and you become it. I could say that I was peace, I was love, I was the brightness. It was part of me.’

Goodbye, my friend.
Love will never end.
And I feel like you
And I breathe all truth.

Love is the lifebreath inside of me.
Love is the true light inside of me.
And I know you somehow,
As I hold you in my heart,
(Senses following me)
In my heart.
(Senses following me)

There’s a fire in the sky
And I know it’s you.
(Senses following me,
Senses following me.)
There’s a light that’s so bright
And I know it’s you,
(Senses following me)
I know it’s you.
(Senses following me)

And I dream like you
(Senses following me,
Senses following me.)
And I believe in truth.
(Senses following me,
Senses following me.)
For I was always there
And I will always be there.

‘And it’s just so beautiful. It was eternity. It’s like I was always there, and I will always be there… that my existence on earth was just a very brief instant. I could say that I was peace, I was love, I was the brightness. It was part of me.’”

[ Internal Landscapes – Anathema ]

I have a weird relationship with Internal Landscapes. I know it’s an important song for both Danny and Vincent Cavanagh – the latter spoke very fondly of it during the interview I had with him in 2012, and said they considered for it to be the title track of the album, they’re enthusiastic about the near-death experience monologue and so on – but I never got fully into it. I mean, yes, it’s a nice song and everything, but up until some time ago, I couldn’t relate to it at all. It just left me cold. Then, one evening, it happened: I was listening to it and suddenly realised just how deeply emotional it is, I got shivers all over and knew exactly what to do with it. (Interesting, it was the 50th time I was listening to the whole album – which means it was also the 50th time I listened to this song, as it is my least played on Weather Systems).
I once mentioned each of my project has an odd one out among the bunch – in this case, The Storm Before The Calm, which was split into two works. Well, here we get two odd ones out, as I decided to take a different approach while making Internal Landscapes: a diptych with a portrait and a landscape like the other works, but mingled. So I did a portrait with a faint overimpressed landscape, and a landscape with a faint portrait in it. I thought this was the best way to represente the oneness of all, the spiritual connection between the individuals and the whole world around them. (No wonder it took me a while to figure out such a concept, given it is as far away as it could be from my beliefs – or lack thereof).
I don’t exactly know why I chose Uriele to model for this photo: while I was having that fateful 50th listen and the song “spoke to me”, it pointed him itself. Like, I saw him in my head and knew he had to be, end of the story. And yeah, he did a great modelling job and showed the exact feeling I needed with very little direction (it felt kinda stupid to say aloud, “You must be reaching for the very spirit of the world around and the love that pervades everything”, so I keep it vague).

And here we go. After this photo, although there are only two left, the Weather Systems project is going to take an indefinite hiatus, the reasons of which I will explain in an upcoming post about how my long-term projects are doing.

The Lost Child

“Adrift on a silent sea.
The cold night surrounds me.
Black ice forms beneath
The waves of a childhood dream.
A far light hypnotised,
A voice calls from paradise, paradise
To here.

My light is fading now,
My heart is breaking now.
My light is fading now,
My heart is breaking now.

A child sings to me.
The mists rise blinding me.
I can’t find a way out of here
And the sound of angel dreams.
The stars fall into the sea.
The ice breaks, I’m pulled beneath,
Pulled beneath the waves.

My light is fading now,
My heart is breaking now.
My life is failing now,
My mind is drowning now.

But your hand reaches down
To reach down and pull me out and
Save me, save me, save me, save me,
Save me, save me, save me, save me,
Save me, save me, save me, save me.”

[ The Lost Child – Anathema ]

I’m getting the distinct impression that the Weather Systems project is like “everything or nothing at all”: first one year of silence, and then two works in two days. Consider I’ve got 75% of Internal Landscapes done and am just waiting for weather to be cooperative to complete it and you get what I mean. 

So, here is The Lost Child. Truth be told, it has proved to be quite a challenge for me. It was the first song which gave me a mental image for a photo, like the very first time I heard it: I thought of a monochromatic  half-naked me hidden in the woods (something similar to Shaman, but darker). This happened before I read the lyrics, which unfortunately did not mach my idea at all: as much as I liked it, among the icy sea, mist air and starry night, there was no place for woods.

Eventually, as I grew fonder and fonder of the album and the idea of a series of colour diptych stuck, I had to rule my original concep for this work even further out, but I couldn’t quite get it out of my head completely: this resulted in me shelving the song for time being and waiting to be near the completion of the project to face it again. Which is, like, now.

Then, the day after yesterday my mother and I went to the pinewood where we buried our cat Murka to pay her a visit, then wandered a bit around in search of some photographic ideas in the inspiring gloomy weather. The pinewood is right by the beach and as soon as I saw a view of the stormy sea through the trees, I got inspired and decided to revamp my original idea for The Lost Child with a bit of variation to fit the marine theme. After all, nighttime portraiture in a non-urban, non-arc-lit environment is currently far beyond my reach, fat chance I ever get a misty night in either of the two notoriously windy cities by the sea I live in, let alone ice sheets. I had muky weather, I had a distant light(house), I had the eerie-looking grove I wanted, so there we are.