Darkest Hour

“Hold on,
I’ll be home soon
‘Cause I know
There’s nothing more that you can do –

When suddenly, it all fades to black,
Suddenly, it all goes away,
Suddenly, you’re on your own
And struggling to breathe again.
I know it isn’t easy for you,
Knowing there’s a war in your head,
Knowing that your body isn’t
Strong enough to reach for help.

But in your darkest hour
I will the light the way,
I will help you cope
Through the hardest days.
When it all breaks down
I will keep you safe,
In your darkest hour
I will light the way.

So hold on
With all that you have left.
We can take it step by step:
Just do your best, acquiesce.

‘Cause everybody looks just like you
But they can never know how it feels,
They can never know of all the suffering
That you conceal.
How did it end up this way?
How much more can you take?
Will you ever find the strength
To get back on your feet again?

But in your darkest hour
I will light the way,
I will help you cope
Through the hardest days.
When it all breaks down,
I will keep you safe,
In your darkest hour
I will light the way.

So hold on
In your darkest hour,
In your darkest hour,
Just hold on,
Hold on.

In your darkest hour
I will light the way,
I will help you cope
Through the hardest days.
When it all breaks down
I’ll keep you safe,
In your darkest hour
I will light the way.”

[ Darkest Hour – Hurts ]

Yeah, well. Remember all my high proclamations of never ever saving another photo from the Inspiration Hurts project for close friends ever again, to stop taking photos that double as tokens of affection, love is weakness, I’m Regina the Evil Queen, and all of that? I can’t. I mean, I tried. I… okay, let’s rewind.

Look, my dear friend Luisa just happened to be in town specifically to model for me – yeah, imagine that – and since there was her, and there was me, and this photo needed two people to tango, I decided to throw it into our session. Seize the moment, now or never, all that staff. It just so happens that the song it’s inspired by is also very appropriate for the two of us, and that’s a nice bonus that… okay, no.

Really, I just wanted Luisa to be in this photo, and she just happens to actually be a good friend who cares about this stuff.

Luisa and I go back over a decade. We’ve both been through some darkness and, even though we’re not the most talkative of people, we’ve always been there for each other if need be – basically, this song works both ways for us. Besides, she is the one who introduced me to Hurts’ music in the first place by suggesting the concept for Evelyn, so this song and the related photo just had to be ours.

Also – did I mention it already? – a very good friend of mine comes to Sardinia not just to mind her own business but actually to take photos with me, and we end up taking an Inspiration Hurts photo that doubles as a token of affection and a symbol of how much we care for each other, and we actually go through with it, and she doesn’t even have to manipulate or gaslight her way out of it – I mean, could I ever in a million years pass on such a chance to stick it to a certain someone? Of course not, I’m just that petty.

Speaking of petty, if this composition reminds you of a certain other photo from the Inspiration Hurts project, one from a song that’s all about “please save it and get lost”, one which has aged better than the finest vintage you’ll ever drink like I’m a goddamn prophet or something… yeah, that’s deliberate – that’s literally the entire concept.

I took the basic premise of that photo – boy and girl, he to the left and she to the right, sitting and looking out to the sea – and flipped everything else: this one is in colour instead of monochromatic, the sky is clear instead of heavily clouded, the image is sharp instead of grainy, and we’re touching instead of just sitting there side by side contemplating the silent yet inevitable demise of our relationship before one of us walks away, and it’s closely framed around us rather than being wide and including lots of background.

I really wanted to mirror that photo to hopefully make another “prophecy”, that Luisa and I will weather the darkest hours silently having each other’s back, and that brighter times will finally come.

Because there are people in my life who do deserve photos that double as tokens of affection, goddamnit. (Just so you know it, I still hold a grudge for things that went down on my seventh birthday, so no, there’s no chance I’m going to drop this anytime soon.)

 

Now, to be completely honest, you can tell that my last bad experience shooting in Sardinia with friends from elsewhere still seriously haunts me way beyond the occasional snark by the fact that I sort of felt guilty to bring up my own personal project while I was working at our joint one. Aptly, this is the very last photo we took, and initially I was even trying to take it in full daylight as not to inconvenience Luisa with having to wait for sunset on the evening before her departure, in case she wanted to rest. When it became clear that wasn’t working and I would not be able to postproduce my way out of those light conditions to achieve what I had in mind, Luisa herself was the one to suggest we’d come down at a proper hour and take the photo the way it was meant to be – again, imagine that. It was a very nice way to end our four-day photoshoot, and one which made me feel appreciated. It’s another step in the direction of rebuilding the trust in people who agree to help me with my own passion projects.

So here we are, sitting side by side, watching together as the sun rises and puts an end to our darkest hour, all with those real-life undertones that will make me cherish this photo way beyond its artistic merits.

Thank you, Luisa, for believing in me and making art with me.