Emptiness in a frame

It’s definitely unavoidable for artists to pur much more of themselves than they intend to into their work. I’ve always admitted that what you can see in my photos is not the real world, but merely my take on it, the way I see it, which of course reflects my state of mind. Thus, I found it interesting to look at my own photos and try to deduce something about myself, in particular analyzing my non-portraiture pictures, those that simply show a place or object without focussing on a human subject.

Well, I noticed that my world appears to be totally empty, almost bleak and sad. I managed to shoot perfectly empty, lifeless photos even in such a lively and colourful city as Venice. This is something that shows even in my portraits – if you pay attention, you’ll se that beside the main subject there’s never anybody else, even when we shoot outdoors in such places as Milan’s city centre – but it became particularly noticeable in my latter shoots of such a popular touristic place as Venice. Okay, I shot smaller alleys rather than well known places (mainly because I find no point in shooting the Rialto bridge, Piazza San Marco, Canal Grande or other oh-so-seen-of landmarks) and I also had to wait for the right moment when there were no passers by, but it’s still hilarious to get such images in a city that’s widely known for tourism – let alone the association with the Carnival. That’s simply my style and I tend to get such images pretty much anywhere I go.

So, looking at my photos one might think deep down I’m a very lonely and melancholic person, that I avoid other people and so on. These last few monochromes in particular could look like the work of someone with manic-depressive tendencies.

The truth is, my photography simply reflects me being a total control freak. I need to be in control of anything that’s around me as much as I can and this becomes quite easy when I shape my own world through images. The crowd, random people interacting with a scenery and with one another, are absolutley unpredictable and uncontrollable, they totally escape my mental scheme, thus I do my best to cut them off my world. Emptiness, silence and stillness, they all mean the order and control I constantly struggle to get over my life rather than an attempt to isolate myself from the rest of the world.Paradoxically, I think my whole control issue is the first thing that got out of my hand, so I’m trying to work on that so that it won’t keep affecting other aspects of my life. To be honest, right now I’m not concerned about how it reflects in my photography though, as I really like it the way it is, without disturbing elements that spoil the aesthetic order of the image. I don’t really know how I’ll be growing artistically and personally, so this maight change in time, but regardless of that I find myself glad for what photography helps me achieve not only as an artist, but as a human being: express and learnt to know myself.

Fashion

“I am, I’m too fabulous.
I’m so fierce that it’s so nuts.
I live to be model-thin,
Dress me, I’m your mannequin.

J’adore Vivienne, habillez-moi,
Gucci, Fendi, et Prada,
Valentino, Armani too.
Merde, I love them, Jimmy Choo!

Fashion: put it all on me.
Don’t you want to see these clothes on me?
Fashion: put it all on me.
I am anyone you want me to be.
Fashion: put it all on me.
Don’t you want to see these clothes on me?
Fashion: put it all on me.
I am anyone you want me to be.

Ooh la la la,
We love designer.

I need some new stilettos,
Can’t walk down the street in those.
You are who you wear, it’s true,
A girl’s just as hot as the shoes she choose.

J’adore Weitzman, habillez-moi,
Louis, Dolce Gabbana,
Alexander McQueen, eh oh,
Merde, I love those Manolo.

Fashion: put it all on me.
Don’t you want to see these clothes on me?
Fashion: put it all on me.
I am anyone you want me to be.
Fashion: put it all on me.
Don’t you want to see these clothes on me?
Fashion: put it all on me.
I am anyone you want me to be.

Ooh la la la,
We love designer.”

[ Fashion - Lady Gaga ]

The photo for Fashion came as unexpected as the song itself: I had no clue about its existence until I heard it playing from Alessandro Jonah’s computer and totally fell in love with it. Similarly, I didn’t plan to take a Fashion photo during this session - I didn’t even start to think of the concept - but it came out by itself.
I wasn’t even sure if I really liked this photo until I started toying with it in Photoshop to see what I could get out of it and I was blown away. Beside the colours, which were as bright even before I opened it courtesy of the amazing Burano, and Briar Rose who’s totally gorgeous by nature, I love how the dress turned out. You can perfectly see the pattern of the lace and how the light gently draws Briar Rose’s body underneath it. This is everything fashion photography should be about, which is why I give this picture the title.
I’ve also learnt quite a lot about how to handle details in fashion photography from this photo and a little mistake I’ve done (which I won’t reveal, of course!), so it also helped me grow professionally.

The Infernal Lords XXI: Agares

“You know this will go out of hand
If we don’t understand.
This confusion of tongue
Feels so wrong.

We’re lost in Babylon, Babylon,
Time is slipping away.
Holding on, it won’t be long
Until the dawn of the day.”
[ Babylon – Delain ]

Countess Agares is the Demon of Languages and Literature, and thanks to her powers she can instantly teach them to any Mortal who conjures her, in exchange for thir soul. She was formerly a Virtue and didn’t belong to the first set of Fallen Angels, those who were cast out after the Great Heavenly War. Due to her intelligence and culture, she was in fact very likely to become the new Second-in-Command of Virtues under Great Angel Raphael’s leadership until the Babel Tower incident occurred. In that occasion, she strongly disagreed with Yahweh’s punishment, as she thought that mankind’s knowledge was too precious to be scattered all across the Earth and fragmented in different languages; so, she disobeyed Yahweh’s will descending on Earth and trying to undo his deed. Together with the positive opinion she previously expressed on the Tree of Knowledge incident, covertly praising Marquis Leviathan for freeing Adam and Eve from the utter ignorance in which Yahweh had forced them to live, this cost her her place in Heaven and she was subsequently warmly welcomed in Hell, where she was offered a place in the Second Level of Demons as the Director of the Infernal Library thanks to her immense knowledge.
Despite the deep grudge she bears towards Heaven, she has never managed, nor cared, to really settle in Hell, preferring to remain with her books and keep nothing more than mere politeness with fellow Courtiers. Her closest bonds are with Count Mephistophel, whom she appreciates thanks to his professionalism in finding her contracts with Mortals, the ever-friendly Marquise Decarabia, Count Furcifel, who was cast out of Heaven at the same time as her, and also Duchess Astarte, whom she still respects since the times the latter was the Queen of Heaven. She seldom leaves the Library, mostly when Duke Astaroth asks her for books (while being too indolent to go fetch them himself) and, in particular, when she’s conjured on the Earth by some human for her powers. While she’s still pretty eager to give her help, she now does so mostly as a mere act of rebellion against Yahweh rather than out of true interest in mankind: this is perhaps the reason why she finds a particular pleasure in teaching profanity and immoral expressions first.

Agares: development and symbolism

Credits:

Photo, concept, manipulation, frame design: GothicNarcissus

Model, hair, make up: ContessaNera

Styling: ContessaNera and GothicNarcissus
Assistant: Fabrizio Shake
Additional resources: Amptone-stock (texture), Solarka-Stock (wings)

Ever wondered why the first things people learn of a new language are swear words? Well, the answer is simple: because Agares, the Demon of Languages, loves teaching profanity! I swear, as soon as I read that part of Agares’ biography, suddenly the whole world of language studies made sense to me!
Now, jokes aside, Agares is a really important Demon to me and I wanted to do him since the beginning of the project. In “real life” I am a language student, so this is sort of a “patron Demon” of mine. Besides, he’s a very important and well defined figure in Christian demonology, being listed as a Duke or even as a King according to many sources; The Lesser Key of Solomon even states to which Choir he belonged before the fall, Virtues, which is quite rare. So the reasons to include him were many and very important.

Agares from the Dictionnaire Infernal.

Nevertheless, once I started developing the idea it appeared clear that I had to take a good steps aside from his popular depiction, not only because of his unfitting portrayal as an old man and the difficulties to include a crocodile in the picture, but mainly because of the model I chose. Although I had tried to enlist her as Jezebeth before, I decided that the part belonged rightfully to my dear friend Veronica Morphine because she’s a fellow language student and attends the same faculty as me, Interpreters and Translators (albeit in another city, unfortunately for us but very luckily for our university careers). Who better than her for that? Thus, Agares became a woman and I decided to rank her as a Countess to tribute Veronica’s nickname, ContessaNera (which means Black Countess). Once Veronica confirmed she was interested in the project, though, we had to wait forever for the actual shoot. Either one of us was always busy with some other stuff and for a reason or another we didn’t make it until last month. Which turned out to be a true blessing in disguise, because I would have probably never had the idea of a pin-up-looking Demon before.
The truth is: developing the visual rendition for Agares has proven an extremely difficult challenge. Languages are a totally abstract concept, so how to put it into graphics? “Dictionaries!”, said Veronica, but although it was a really funny joke… well, just no. So, there I was with no idea whatsoever about what to do, and I decided to focus on a strong visual impact on which to build a deeper concept later on. I knew the pin-up look, combined with a fitting pose and Veronica’s beautiful features and bright red hair, would have helped, so first we styled the photo and opted for the dress you see, which recalls the Fifties for a change. The next challenge was to come up with a visual element that hinted to languages and literature: the best idea we could come up with was parchments, and so we did. However, having already had experience with Mephistophel that actual writings on paper don’t stand out in a photo like this, there had to be something else to reinforce the concept.
Shame on me, the final idea didn’t cross my mind until after the shoot and my collateral modelling session for Veronica; so yeah, basically I shot in the dark and when our meeting was over, all I had in hand was a nice photo with a beautiful pose and a hint to literature given by the parchments. Then, when I was on the train listening to Delain (and after a good nap), the idea struck: a background with one sentence repeated over and over in all the languages I could find. Whoa, that was perfect! I wrote down the sentence on my mobile phone not to forget it, then arrived back home and started asking all my foreign friends for help. Indeed, the work became some sort of group effort for which I have to thank a huge lot of people.

The sentence I chose to include reads, “Knowledge is power, communication is freedom; beware of ignorance’s blessing”. It’s a hint not only to the backstory I wrote for Agares, but also to the fact that what the Church has tried to do since it has become an organised political power is spreading ignorance in the name of God – its “version” of knowledge, with strong resistance to anything that could update it – as though it were a blessing. If you have a close look at The Lesser Key of Solomon you will see that any kind of potentially subversive knowledge has been made into a Demon: mathematics, astronomy, music, art, comedy, and also languages. This is because it is easier to exercise a supposedly divine (actually political and economical) power over people who lack enough knowledge to develop critical thinking and question the the divineness (and thus the righteousness) of said power.
On a side note, the languages I’ve managed to gather are, top to bottom: Hebrew, English, Russian, Greek, Latin, French, German, Italian, Norwegian, Belarusian, Japanese, Arabian, Spanish, Hindi, Swedish, Romanian, Catalan, Dutch, Chinese, Ukrainian, Galician, Finnish, Danish, Bulgarian, Portuguese, Icelandic, Slovak, Polish, Breton, Urdu, Croatian, Georgian, Albanian, Korean, Latvian, Hungarian and Armenian, with the Icelandic text turned into runes at the bottom because it looked cool. The order is quite random (I added them as soon as I got new ones).
The main colour is red because it’s Veronica’s favourite ever. The choice of the song is really recent; it’s been extremely difficult to find one about languages, but finally Delain released Babylon and saved the day with a perfectly fitting song.

Special thanks for helping me with the languages go to: Shachar Shed (who really found a lot of them, including the most exotic ones), DamaInNero, Josefine Jönsson, Hein Frode Hansen and Vegard K. Thorsen of Theatre of Tragedy, Ayl Rose, Kira, Ilman Lintu, Ruira, Lili, Mael, Andrea, Eilyn, Kristine, Ördög, all those I’m forgetting right now (sure as hell there must be someone) and all the people they turned to for help. Without all of you this work would have not been possible, so I wish to dedicate it especially to you: this is a proof that people of different language and culture can achieve a lot whenever they unite.

Self-acceptance: a step forward

Contrary to what my work and nickname may suggest, I’m not really the self-confident type, let alone narcissistic. I mean, I take good care of my body, put a lot of effort in tending to my hair, always try to look my best, but it’s not like I’m really that in love with muself. On the contrary, I’m really insecure, in particular when it comes to my looks. While I’m quite happy with my face, I still have some self-acceptance issues when it comes to my body. I wish I was less skinny. I wish I was more manly, had wider shoulders, a bit of muscles perhaps (not too much, of course!), weighted some 10 kilos more. Although I’ve tried really hard to put on some weight, all my efforts are in vain, as I eat a lot to no avail. Which is, like, great, if only I was not some 20 kilos underweight.
This has of course some consequences on my artistic work. I usually try to avoid posing bare-chested, let alone naked, and dress up aptly to hide my too thin bodyframe. The only person in this world who ever gets me to pose half-dressed is Briar Rose. We first made two succesful attempts last year, one in May when we took some Placebo-inspired photos and one in December when we shot outdoors and now I decided to do that again for the Salomé series, in which I would wear a rather revealing (for my standars) outfit. Of course, as I was already in undressing mode, I had no objection when Cunene, the photographer who was to work with us, asked me if I felt comfortable posing bare-chested for some other shots. I got ready, stood under the lights in front of her camera, and there we went.

Besides the artistic value of the experience, which I did expect from the beginning, this shoot brough also something I would not expect. Perhapts “it was the light, it was the angle” (as Nick Cave sings), perhaps it’s Cunene’s amazing skills, but I really liked what I saw. For the first time, I thought: “Oh, that is my body? Wow, I really like it!”. It’s a strange form of epiphany in which I’ve found out I do look good even naked. No matter if I’m too thin or less manly than many other models, I am beautiful in my way (‘cause God makes no mistakes, would add Gaga). It took me six years “in the business” to figure it out, but thanks to Cunene I finally did. I think that, beside the wonderful outcome of the session, the fact that a photographer who’s not a close friend of mine (while Briar Rose is) did really appreciate me for what I am helped a lot. It really felt great.
We shot more things before Briar Rose joined us, but for now only these two photos are released. I really hope more are coming, as this photoshoot was a huge step forward for me, both professionally and personally.

Salomé

“Ah! I have kissed thy mouth, Jokanaan, I have kissed thy mouth. There was a bitter taste on my lips. Was it the taste of blood?
Nay, but perchance it was the taste of love... they say that love hath a bitter taste... but what matter? What matter? I have kissed thy mouth.”


Briar Rose has recently read Oscar Wilde’s play Salomé, which gave her the idea for a photoshoot. She told me about it and asked me if I was interest to model as John the Baptist with her as Salomé, which I immediately loved and accepted. After some brainstorming, we decided to ask the amazing Cunene if she was interested in shooting, as her painting-like style was really appropriate for the subject, and after she accepted we set up a meeting and went for it.
This series is particular important to me as it is the very first time Briar Rose and I posed together despite the fact we’ve been knowing each other for almost four years now and we’ve meet each other several times. I can say now that the wait was worth, as we modelled for a project we were really eager, inspired by one of our favourite authors.


This shoot turned out to be a real team work as there was a lot of brainstorming constantly going on in her home studio about many details. With Briar Rose being the soul of the series and Cunene actually bringing it to life, I did my part as well by pushing towards a more realistic modelling (like when I expressedly told Briar Rose to just pull my hair for real!), and coming up with the right idea of the perspective for my head in the final shoots so that the beheading would be easier - while Cunene came up with the “hair scarf” to further hide my neck and add realism. So we basically built up a highly inspired state of mind that brought to us these results, furtherly enhatched by Cunene’s majestic postproduction.

Would Oscar have liked this rendition of his work? I really hope so. We put all our heart in doing it.

Dance In The Dark

“Silicone, saline,
Poison, inject me.
Baby, I’m a free bitch,
I’m a free bitch.

Some girls won’t dance to the beat of the track.
She won’t walk away, but she won’t look back.
She looks good, but her boyfriend says she’s a mess,
She’s a mess, she’s a mess.
Now the girl is stressed,
She’s a mess, she’s a mess,
She’s a mess, she’s a mess.

Baby loves to dance in the dark
‘Cause when he’s looking she falls apart.
Baby loves to dance in the dark.
Baby loves to dance in the dark
‘Cause when he’s looking she falls apart.
Baby loves to dance, loves to dance in the dark.

Run, run, her kiss is a vampire grin.
The Moon lights her way while she’s howling at him.
She looks good, but her boyfriend says she’s a tramp,
She’s a tramp, she’s a vamp.
But she still does her dance,
She’s a tramp, she’s a vamp,
But she still kills the dance.

Baby loves to dance in the dark
‘Cause when he’s looking she falls apart.
Baby loves to dance in the dark.
Baby loves to dance in the dark
‘Cause when he’s looking she falls apart.
Baby loves to dance, loves to dance in the dark.

Marilyn, Judy, S-S-S-S-Sylvia,
Tell ‘em how you feel, girls.
Work your blonde Benét Ramsey,
We’ll haunt like liberace.
Find your freedom in the music,
Find your Jesus, find your Kubrick.
You will never fall apart,
Diana, you’re still in our hearts.
Never let you fall apart,
Together we’ll dance in the dark.”

[ Dance In The Dark - Lady Gaga ]

Funny isn’t it, how the first truly goth-looking photo I’ve taken in months is inspired by Lady Gaga, who so many metalheads, goths and other sub-culture representatives almost demonise as the very epitome of mainstream, sold-out music. Once again, the truth is she’s such a valuable, multifaceted, amazing artist that the very concept of “genre” doesn’t apply to her work. Her songs draw from and can evoke any kind of imagery, even something as gothic as this photo. This is what a complete artist should do, in my opinion.

With this said, this is one of those photos that really speak for themselves. All you can see, from the dim, grazing light to the messy make up and hairdo, up to Deborah’s outfit and, in particular, her expression and pose, is meant to be representing the song lyrics. The final outcome of the photo is exactly what I had in my mind for theis song, but I have to say it was extremely hard to achieve given our lack of studio light. We had to do everything with the afternoon sun through the window with no control over the intensity of the light, waiting for the clouds that were drifting by to regulate it by themselves. I was about to give up, but as usual, when you have to struggle to get something the result is even more satisfying, isn’t it?
On a side note, I mentioned that this photo is much more goth-looking than most of my current stuff, but it still retains a fashionable touch in it, in particular because of what you can see of the outfit. I consider it a good match point of my older and current work.

Alejandro

“I know that we are young and I know you may love me,
But I just can’t be with you like this anymore...
Alejandro.

She’s got both hands in her pocket
And she won’t look at you, won’t look at you.
She hides true love en su bolsillo,
She’s got a halo ‘round her finger, around you.

You know that I love you boy,
Hot like Mexico, rejoice.
At this point I gotta choose,
Nothing to loose.

Don’t call my name, don’t call my name,
Alejandro.
I’m not your babe, I’m not your babe,
Fernando.
Don’t wanna kiss, don’t wanna touch,
Just smoke one cigarette and hush.
Don’t call my name, don’t call my name,
Roberto.

Alejandro, Alejandro.
Ale-Alejandro, Ale-Alejandro.
Alejandro, Alejandro.
Ale-Alejandro, Ale-Alejandro.

Stop, please, just let me go. Alejandro, just let me go.

She’s not broken, she’s just a baby,
But her boyfriend’s like a dad, just like a dad,
And all those flames that burned before him,
Now he’s gonna fight your fight, gonna cool the bad.

You know that I love you boy,
Hot like Mexico, rejoice.
At this point I gotta choose,
Nothing to loose.

Don’t call my name, don’t call my name,
Alejandro.
I’m not your babe, I’m not your babe,
Fernando.
Don’t wanna kiss, don’t wanna touch,
Just smoke one cigarette and hush.
Don’t call my name, don’t call my name,
Roberto.

Alejandro, Alejandro.
Ale-Alejandro, Ale-Alejandro.
Alejandro, Alejandro.
Ale-Alejandro, Ale-Alejandro.

Don’t bother me, don’t bother me,
Alejandro.
Don’t call my name, don’t call my name.
Bye, Fernando.
I’m not your babe, I’m not your babe,
Alejandro.
Don’t wanna kiss, don’t wanna touch,
Fernando.”

[ Alejandro - Lady Gaga ]

Alejandro has been the second song by Lady Gaga I really grew to like and put onto my iPod. Back in the day (we’re talking about 2010) I used to be more of a bigoted metalhead and loathed her on the simple basis that she was Lady Gaga. I mean, come on, she was some blonde popstar who made music for selling and sung about meaningless things like going clubbing and screwing, and her music was banal and commercial. The truth is, (like most metalheads) I did never even care to listen one single album of hers. I just judged her on the basis of my prejudices without even knowing what I was talking about. Indeed, those two songs I had on my iPod had such beautiful music videos that I enjoyed watching, thus I did really listen to them and that’s why I was, like, “okay, they do really sound cool”.
As I mentioned in the Heavy Metal Lover entry, it was Alessandro who eventually forced me to give Gaga a true listen (to The Fame Mosnter), allowing her to conquer me completely, so I really owe much to him in this sense and that’s probably why I tend to picture him in many of my Gaga-inspired works.
Anyways, Alessandro was doubtlessly the best choice for the Alejandro photo becasue... well, try and guess why. It was because of the name, of course, but also because I particularly liked the light I saw on his balcony when I went there to shoot Heavy Metal Lover and, for some unknown reasons, I immediately associated it with the song. Oh, and I adore shooting him whike he’s smoking, and with the cigarette verse and the light which would emphasize the smoke it would have worked perfectly.

Alessandro and I did the styling together, then I did his make up (actually just the eyeshadow) and we were ready to shoot. The photo itself did not require much work except for some attempts with slightly different poses and some work to catch the perfect light, but while I was shooting I already knew what the difficulty would be. For this particular photo I wanted a cross-process kind of postproduction with a blue-greenish hue on the shadows and a yellowish one on the highlights. I had to do some attempts because greenish shadows would result in pink highlights, while yellow highlights would turn the shadows blue, but I eventually succeded in what I had to do. This postproduction also perfectly fit the cyan tones of the glass, so I can say I’m very happy with this photo.
On a side note, Alessandro is a fucking lucky bitch: what you can see in this photo is his actual skin with no make up or Photoshop retouh whatsoever. Now, that is luck. I really wish my skin looked that amazing too...