The Crow

“Golden days are so far away.
There’s a black rain up above.
Out on the wind you hear her call,
She’s under your skin and you drift away.

She spreads her wings
When she’s gonna fly, the crow.
If you make her sing,
When she’s coming she will let you know.

Her frozen hand takes your breath away
As she leads your soul through the dark.
You know that she came to break your heart,
But oh, when she moves you fall in love again.

And she spreads her wings
When she’s gonna fly, the crow.
If you make her sing,
When she’s coming she will let you know.
She spreads her wings
And they black out the sun.
You won’t hear her sing
And she’ll leave when the damage is done.

Cold heart, warm gun, a dying sun…
Bright eyes, black soul, she’ll never let you go.

And she spreads her wings
When she’s gonna fly, the crow.
If you make her sing,
When she’s coming she will let you know.
She spreads her wings
And they black out the sun.
You won’t hear her sing
And she’ll leave when the damage is done.”

[ The Crow – Hurts ]

This photo… just happened. Really – and it’s a rarity for me, especially when my long-term projects are concerned – I just shot it, fell in love with it, and it started singing to me this song.

So, I was at BriarRose’s place and, among the bagillion things we end up doing at the same time, we decided to take a few photos with a “boudoir” feel to test my new softbox. We were mostly toying around with laces and silk robes for a few photos inspired by Portishead’s Glory Box, until BriarRose sat down, turned to me to tell me something, and I froze this exact moment, perfect light and all.

And I don’t know, it was just so The Crow it had to be in the project.

 

Just for the record, my original idea envisioned a fashion-oriented portrait from the collarbones up skimming over the keywords in the lyrics, so velied hats, feathers, a pale cyan background, blood-red lips and an innocent look to contrast it all. I think I got the song backwards: I would have gone for an intimidating, fancy outer appearance hiding an inner innocence, while the song is actually about the polar opposite. An intimate portrait of a young woman with such a piercing gaze goes much better with the lyrics and melody.

The reason is probably that I’ve had a weird relationship with this song: for the longest time, I kind of just heard it without really listening. I didn’t quite “get it”, so to say, I drifted off for its running time and didn’t pay it any more than the bare minimum attention. Then something changed, perhaps thanks to this photo, and it’s since become one of my favourites from Exile. I guess it just had yet to speak to me and I had to truly listen.

The Infernal Lords XXVI: Leonard

“See beyond the rationale,
Accept the fate that nothing is meant to be.
Be the least connected,
Stay true to the last original.

Apply layers to reality,
Things only you can see.
Add a beat to normality
To tap the core of insanity.”
[ The Mundane And The Magic – Dark Tranquillity & Nell Sigland ]

Grand Master Marquis Leonard is a former high-ranking Virtue long since turned into a powerful Fourth-Level Demon. He has got the power to bend the laws of both the Astral and Physical Planes at will, which is commonly known as Witchcraft. While many Demons can do so by casting spells of their own, most are only limited to their own elements, while Marquis Leonard’s influence can range to any known field. Thus, humankind cherishes him particularly: he is known as the Demon of Witchcraft and Sorcery and any Mortal willing to sell their souls to him will receive the gift of Magic, which is the power to influence the world around them at will. Marquis Leonard is summoned much more often than any other Goetic Demon due to the formidable powers he can give: Elemental Demons possess full control over their own elements, but they cannot bestow such powers to Mortals unless they directly possess them, while Marquis Leonard can. He can also give passive powers, with which Mortals can achieve a degree of control of the cosmic forces through a certain set of rituals, actions, combination of words, and catalysts such as symbols, seals, herbs, minerals or artefacts. Therefore, he is the main reference to those who wish to become witches or wizards and is often adored as an idol under many Pagan names.
He is often called upon together with his close associate, Marquise Naamah, the Mother of Divination. Along with her and other nightly Demons such as Princess Lilith, Duke Astaroth and Marquis Rosiel he roams the Earth as an Incubus to feed on the energies of sleeping Mortals, targeting in particular dreams of ambition. Thanks to his enormous powers, he is also a member of Duke Beelzebub’s Order of the Great Fly. He and Duke Xaphan share a sort of friendly rivalry, as Marquis Leonard likes shaping the world by bending nature’s laws with his powers while Duke Xaphan prefers studying and applying them to his technology. A particularly learned Demon, Marquis Leonard also shares a good comradeship with Countess Agares and often visits the Infernal Library, whose Magic section was almost entirely compiled by himself.

Leonard: development and symbolism

Credits:

Photo, concept, manipulation, frame design, styling: GothicNarcissus

Model, hair: Davide Marcuzzo

Additional resources: Amptone-stock (texture)

Oh, hey, the Infernal Lords are still progressing! I feel kind of bad for taking more than a year between the last work and this one, but 2014 has been quite contrived, both outside and inside photography, and the project had to wait.
First things first: I wanted a Demon of Magic and Witchcraft in my series. Provided that this project draws quite strictly from Jewish an Christian mythology, in my continuity witches and wizards call upon a Demon to receive their powers (and I don’t care if it is not Wiccanly accurate, that’s an entirely different mythology), so such a Demon was quite necessary. Despite Leonard not being from the Lesser Key of Solomon, I found him quite easily in Collin de Plancy’s Dictionnare Infernal as a nightly Demon who presides the Sabbath and bestows the gift of black magic to humans. I was a little puzzled by his name, as it is a real given name, but I also found a very inspirational illustration of him which cleared any doubts.

Leonard from the Dictionnaire Infernal.

Purged of the monstrous features, the whole idea of the pose, the staff (or, in my case, a wand) in his right hand and the beard to keep close to the goatish theme stuck. I came up pretty quickly with the idea of using a wand I purchased back in my teenish wiccan days and an as of then yet unused notebook with a fancy cover I found in Malta some eight years ago (you can also see it in The Narcissist Song, and it has now become my tarot journal). Also, a few years ago my mother sew me an amazing black and red cloak, which would perfectly fit the theme.
Much more troublesome was the casting of Leonard because I could not find someone who fit the “wizard” type. I had a few ideas which didn’t work out for several reasons, and then I met Davide, the lead singer of the progressive metal band SoulStorm, who fit perfectly. We initially scheduled a shoot in August, but even if we did it, I had to scrap all the photos I took because the light was pretty awful, too much even to try to fix it in Lightroom and Photoshop. At least, the experience with Decarabia has taught me something. Due to my summer break at my mother’s and other stuff, a new shoot had to wait until November, when I stopped at Davide’s place for an afternoon on my way back from Lucca. As I had done some paid work at the Comic convention, I spent much of November working on those photos and I could not find the time and concentration to work on Leonard until yesterday. The postproduction was smooth and quick, so here it is at last. On a side note, I had toyed with the background very long ago (at least as early as 2011); even though it didn’t fit the photo because it was too distracting, here you can see the original texture I had come up with.

The symbolism is pretty immediate: the wand, the grimoire and Solomon’s Seal projecting from the crystal represent witchcraft, as does the cloak. As I mentioned, I took most of the pose directly from the illustration in the Dictionnaire Infernal, but I decided to give it some sort of “fallen saint” theme to represent Leonard’s huge powers. I decided to make his seal (actually borrowed from Volac) into the halo because Leonard is quite dressed up and there wasn’t much skin for it; but most of it was covered by his head anyway, so I engraved it on the grimoire back cover too. I also decided not to give him wings because, on the one hand, he can just poof anywhere magically and, on the other, they would be redundant and clashing with the cloak. I chose liver as the main colour because I wanted some muted sepia-ish tones which would recall a dusty painting. I had some trouble choosing a song, but eventually The Mundane And The Magic by Dark Tranquillity featuring Nell Sigland stuck for pretty obvious reasons.

Grace

“If you find yourself in sorrow,
It won’t heal no way.
So don’t you worry ‘bout tomorrow –
It will kill today.
If you don’t mind, if you, if you don’t mind,
I’ll keep you strong, I’ll keep you strong, eh.
If you don’t mind, if you, if you don’t mind,
I’ll keep you strong.

I drown in your grace,
So let me in.
You heal and deface –
I’m wrapped in.

So don’t you care about confusion,
It will gently disappear.
If you find some disillusion,
I’ll softly whisper in your ear,
“If you don’t mind, if you, if you don’t mind,
I’ll keep you strong, I’ll keep you strong, eh.
If you don’t mind, if you, if you don’t mind,
I’ll bring you home.”

I drown in your grace,
So let me in.
You heal and deface –
I’m wrapped in.”

[ Grace – Leandra ]

Back to surrealism with my Morphine series – again the Isomorphine half.

I bet you’re tired of reading it, but once again this is a months-old idea that I kicked myself into doing at long last. I really need some discipline when it comes to self-portraits, because I can’t go on writing down my ideas and waiting so long before developing them. Right, this time most of the stuff I needed was at my mother’s so I couldn’t shoot this photo in Trieste, but I’ve been here for almost two months now and waited until the last week before taking most of this photo – which really sucks on my part. The fact is, I like challenges (and realising this concept was indeed challenging), but tend to procrastinate facing them for as long as I can. See why I haven’t progressed with many of my long-term projects lately.
Anyways, the more surreal I get, the more layered my photos become. Both Mirrors of Decay needed blending a certain amount of photographs together, and so did Grace. After all, people don’t normally float upside-down in the woods like they do underwater, and they don’t usually breathe out soap bubbles; which means that I, my hair, the background and the bubbles are all separate photographs I merged together (I usually don’t reveal these tricks, but denying them would be pointless here).
The symbolism is a pretty direct rendition of the underlying metaphore in the lyrics. I took the idea of drowning in a brightly lit environment (representing “grace”) which is not truly liquid directly from the chorus: I wanted the drowning, but I also wanted it to be metaphorical. And I don’t have an underwater camera anyways. The biggest trick was to make my hair look as if it were really floating, which I downright stole from nDroae and was the primary reason I had to wait to be at my mother’s: I only have a shower in Trieste, not a bathtub. That was the first photo I shot. Since I needed to be there, I decided the background would be the Maria Pia pinewood in Alghero, and I also had my mother blow our brand new Hello Kitty soap bubbles in front of a black background rather than doing all by myself. And here is the final photograph.
But pretty much as always, thank you very much procrastination, for in hindsight the photo came in good time. This time not for purely artistic purposes, but because I actually have someone to dedicate this work and the accompaining song to. You know, as much as I try to be the bitchest of them all, the song is definitely in my character; it’s just been a while since I met someone in real need of psychological support and who’s truly worth the trouble actually no, they weren’t.
Oh, and also: the Hello Kitty soap bubbles are totally my mother’s fault, she bought them. I had a good laugh, but they are not referencing anyone or anything.

Miracle

“Talk to me, girl, tell me your lies.
Let your secrets hypnotise.
‘Cause the light will never shine on this heart of mine
And all the love we sacrificed.

Look at all of the damage you have done in time.
You can see what a savage I’ve become, in my eyes.
If you look in my heart you will find –

No love, no light, no end in sight,
And I’m looking for a miracle,
And I’m looking for a miracle.
But I hope, I pray, and I will fight,
‘Cause I’m looking for a miracle,
‘Cause I’m looking for a miracle.

There’s a place I wanna go and a life I wanna know,
But you crucified my heart of gold.

But oh, look at all of the damage you have done in time.
If you offer salvation, I will run into your arms
And deep in my heart you will find –

No love, no light, no end in sight,
And I’m looking for a miracle,
And I’m looking for a miracle.
But I hope, I pray, and I will fight,
‘Cause I’m looking for a miracle,
‘Cause I’m looking for a miracle.”

[ Miracle – Hurts ]

So, Hurt’s Exile has been out for over one year now and, if you don’t count Ohne Dich, which is based on a cover and single b-side, I haven’t taken any photos inspired by the album yet. Shame on me, really. The truth is, I have many ideas, but they’re ambitious and difficult to pull together. Miracle was definitely one of those.
To be honest, I’ve been working on this photo in a way or another for longer than I care to remember. I’m pretty positive I had the idea as soon as the single was out and started planning it ever since. I mean, the song has amazing lyrics and the videos, especially the original version (which was censored because… I don’t know, Christians are morons?), are so inspiring my mind immediately started working. The original idea was me (because I totally see myself in the lyrics) with a golden halo holding my damaged, rotten heart with no love, no light and what else is there for everyone to see.
Putting it into an actual photo was another story. I started concretely working on the photo around January 2014, when I found the most difficult prop to come across: the heart. I tried to look for one on the internet, but as I only came across ugly-looking rubber ones, I started thinking I had to rip one out Once Upon A Time style. Then I found one while looking for unrelated props in Milan and when I pulled it out of my bag during a dinner to the disgust of my friends, I knew it looked realistic enough for the photo to work. I subsequently bought some golden paperboard to make a halo, but I left it gathering dust on my desk until a few weeks ago because I had never made a halo and was afraid I would suck at it. Which, you’d say, big deal, if I did it wrong I could just buy another paperboard and start over: and yes, but when I’m undertaking stuff for the first time I just get paralysed by fear of not being good enough, so I tend to give up. I finally forced myself to give it a shot early in August and, surprise surprise, I got it right at the first attempt, including sticking it to my hairpin so I could fix it on my head. Oh, and yes, it was fun to document the thing on Instagram to tease my followers.
I went on to shot the photo a couple of days later and it went smooth, even though I had to operate my camera with bloody hands. But due to urgent commissioned works and, especially, clinical depression s-s-summertime, summertime sadness, I didn’t finish it until a couple of days ago. So wow, eight months to shoot a photo only because my head is a mess. On the other hand, though, the wait paid back because I acquired new postproduction skills and I am now able to give my photos the pictorial look this one in particular needed, so I don’t know if I could have made it perfect a few months ago.
On a side note, someday I’m going back to this song to shoot a photo especially inspired by ∆T∆TIK∆’s ’Miraculous’ Remix, which is a truly amazing and inspiring piece of music in its own right. For now, though, enjoy rotten-hearted Saint Narcissus.

Revenge

“I’ll hush.
May you ride the horse that throws you down.
All ash.
May justice pay the price of your crown.
Save me from myself.
Save me from myself.
Save me from myself.
Save me, please.

Why are you digging my bones?
It seems so predictable.
I cannot be on my own.
Under your manic control
I’m starving and begging to finally
Get a life. Leave me alone.

My dear, I’ve heard you
Banging your head against the wall.
Annoy me
Like you annoy the dark upon the arch.
Save me from myself.
Save me from myself.
Save me from myself.
Save me, please.

Why are you digging my bones?
It seems so predictable.
I cannot be on my own.
Under your manic control
I’m starving and begging to finally
Get a life. Leave me alone.”

[ Revenge – Leandra ]

Here is a new photo from the Isomorphine half of my Morphine series.
This photo has the distinction of being the first and so far only one from this project which does not have a surreal theme. As surrealism just happens to be one of the recurring themes in the series, and not one of its aesthetic standpointes, I didn’t have to necessarily include it if it didn’t fit. This song is mostly emotive and written with abstract metaphores that apply to real life situations, rather than inside somebody’s mind, so it didn’t call for surrealism.
As always, I got most of the inspiration from the lyrics of the song: they are about a disfunctional relationship which is going to end soon, so I had to emphasise this sense of separateness. I also got further inspiration from the music of the song: Leandra is a masterful pianist and this is one of the songs in her second album which shows it the most, so I thought it was fair to have a piano in the photo. This standpoint helped me define the imagery, together with one of the lines that caught my attention the most, the “I heard you banging your head against the wall” part in the second verse, which I wanted to include somehow. Thus I potrayed the separation with one of the characters pursuing his own business in an attempt to feel free after he grew cold in the relationship, and the other standing in the background almost unnoticed, in despair and banging his head for the regret of having reached such a sour point in the relationship. The general mood of the song is bitter and resentful but rather calm, which is the same feeling I wanted to convey with my photo: the slow death of sentiments when two people slowly become strangers under the same roof.
The shoot for this photo was set up very quickly: I found out my friend Eliseo had a classical-styled piano, so I quickly arranged to meet him and take the photo. Shooting was a bit difficult because the day was hot and wet and I had very little space to set the tripod and couldn’t see what was going on through the lens. It took a few attempts, but at very last we did it. It also took me near a month to postproduce this photo because of my mild depression issues and lots of work to do, both translations and commissioned photos, but at last here we are.
Funny unimportant side note: I was actually playing Exodus by Evanescence because that’s the only thing I remember how to play on the piano.

Aquarius

“No need to apologise
For the gypsy Madonna:
Truth is not always kind.”

[ Unrepentant Geraldines – Tori Amos ]

Sign of the Philosopher
Element: Air
Secondary element: Humidity
Planet: Uranus
Alignment: Light

A Light-aligned Air sign that embodies Humidity and everything that gives vitality to the atmosphere, it is derived from the constellation of the Water-Bearer. It is called the Sign of the Philosopher because it is most often ahead of its time and constantly thoughtful. Its ruling planet, Uranus, inspires renovation, even to the point of revolution or iconoclasm, and makes the Aquarius unconventional and free-spirited.

At long last, here is the third work from The Zodiacs. Once again, if you’re interested, you can go and read more details about it on The Gay Boy’s Guide to the Zodiac.
As a fellow air Sign, I have some sort of affinity for the archetypical Aquarius, which is probably why I came up quite easily with the concept for this work. Also, as one of the most human figures in the Zodiac, it was quite straight-forward by itself. Uriele, who’s one of my best friends, also happens to be the archetypical Aquarius, so I had the perfect model for the role, too.

As for the symbolism, first of all I immediately excluded any kind of “sexily pouring water on himself” kind of things because, while very alluring to a male gay audience, it’s definitely not what I am aiming for with this photo. I will never say out loud enough how much this project, while being expressed through artistic nudity, is meant to be very allegorical and not crossing into eroticism. Or at least, that would do for Scorpio, but not for such a cerebral sign as Aquarius.
Aquarius is an Air sign, so I decided to have the water in the ewer phase into vapour and pouring out as that to engulf the Aquarius within his own element, also in order to bridge the two elements together. As air is pretty much omnipresent, I decided I might as well shoot the photo indoors to make things quicker and easier for Uriele, as well as taking advantage of his bedroom’s wallpaper, whose pearly colour is quite fitting with the work. Initially I had a different idea about the pose, but while discussing it with Uriele we decided to have him kind of reaching out with the ewer to represent the connection with constant development, rather than having a “folded” pose which would be more suited to a conservative sign as Capricorn.
On the musical side, Tori Amos is Uriele’s Number 1 favourite singer, and her song Unrepentant Geraldines happens to perfectly embody the iconoclastic spirit of the Aquarius. I mean, it was totally meant to be. The postproduction took a while because I was never satisfied, but at last here we are. I hope you enjoy it!

Coloured

“Remember, do you?
Do you remember?
Do you remember
As you flew around the corner
On a flying carpet,
As I woke, I woke up
In this dreamless metabolic forest?
Do you remember?
Do you remember?

Then there was your cup of ideas.
I thought you were intended for advices,
For advices from wheresoever,
And I dropped my volition in dull judges
And you see what comes out
When we hypnotise our whatever,
Whatever it is meant to be.
(Whatever it is meant).

Your dream is not coloured,
I think you should get back in time.
Your dream is not coloured,
You’ve never ordered me to draw a line.
Your dream is not coloured,
I think you should get back in time.
Your dream is not coloured.
Your dream is not coloured,
I’ll get you neither a pillow nor a blanket.
Your dream is not coloured.

Then there was a light,
And what a monkey business,
Monkey busyness,
A monkey business
From wheresoever
I dropped my volition and doubting,
(What a monkey busyness)
And you see what comes out,
What comes out.
And you see what comes out,
What comes out,
When we...

Your dream is not coloured,
I think you should get back in time.
Your dream is not coloured,
You’ve never ordered me to draw a line.
Your dream is not coloured,
I’ll get you neither a pillow nor a blanket to define,
Your dream is not coloured,
So give me the finest paintbrush
Dived in sweeping shine,
The finest paintbrush
Dived in sweeping shine.”

[ Coloured – Leandra ]

New Morphine work, this time from Metamorphine. For some reasons, when I first listened to the album, this song went relatively unnoticed; with more listens, it opened a whole new world of imagery and I came to really love it. Thus, the idea for this work is quite new compared to many other Metamorphine concepts, especially because back in 2008 I would have never imagined this kind of postproduction, as purchasing a graphic tablet was not even close to my plans; nor was getting a bj-doll, for that matter.

The main reason behind the somewhat child-like imagery in this photo is that the song itself sounds like a nursery rhyme of sort (a real, non-twisted one), including soothing rhythmic onomatopoeiae. This, combined with the prominent oneiric theme in the lyrics, made me think of a man-child drawing his dreams into reality. You might find certain similarities with Switchblade, and I honestly don’t know which idea came first. Both photos have butterflies and magic swirls of colour originating from something, which represent the inner world of the subject that overlaps with the “real world”. But I don’t think one harms the other, as they represent something completely different – love in one case, dreams and fantasy in the other. Another thing, which I realised just after finishing the work, is I basically used the same colours as Naberius’ “magical paint” for the dreamy stuff in here. I honestly didn’t think of that, it’s just how I visualised the image in my mind, so I guess those hues are planted somewhere in my subconscious as a visual manifestation of one’s inner world.
The theme of childhood, specifically a child in the body of an adult, is also prominent in the official video of the song, which includes Leandra playing with a doll: I paid homage to that by including Ludwig in the picture. I was undecided whether to set the photo in my own room to give a further nod to the video, or in a “dreamless metabolic forest” as in the lyrics, and I ultimately opted for the latter to give it a lighter feel (the song is quite light compared to many others in the record) and because the green of the trees would look amazingly rich with the Metamorphine colour filter I am using. And because the photo now represents me bringing dreams to the dreamless forest.

The idea is a few months old, but I shot it just last week because I was hoping to get some assistance with it. As I couldn’t find any, I resolved to do everything by myself, from going (by bus) to the intended location to setting up the camera with the timer on a tripod, keeping an eye on Ludwig so he wouldn’t fall and break, and so on. It took me several takes (and a lot of sweating, goddamn July) to get the right image, but the result exceeds my highest expectations and makes me especially proud. The postproduction was quite smooth as I had a very clear idea of what I wanted to get, so here we go, with a swarm of butterflies flying directly out of my head.