“My whole life waiting for the right timeAnd to tell you how I feel.
I know I try to tell you that I need you,
And here I am without you.
I feel so lost, but what can I do?
‘Cause I know this love seems real,
But I don’t know how to feel.
We say goodbye in the pouring rain
And I break down as you walk away.
Stay, stay.
‘Cause all my life I’ve felt this way,
But I could never find the words to say.
Stay, stay.
Alright, everything is alright
Since you came along.
And before you I had nowhere to run to
And nothing to hold on to,
I came so close to giving it up.
And I wonder if you know
How it feels to let you go.
We say goodbye in the pouring rain
And I break down as you walk away.
Stay, stay.
‘Cause all my life I’ve felt this way,
But I could never find the words to say.
Stay, stay.
So you change your mind and say you’re mine.
Don’t leave tonight, stay.
We say goodbye in the pouring rain
And I break down as you walk away.
Stay, stay.
‘Cause all my life I’ve felt this way,
But I could never find the words to say.
Stay, stay.
Stay with me, stay with me,
Stay with me, stay with me,
Stay, stay, stay, stay with me.”
[ Stay – Hurts ]
Holy guacamole.
The one photo that cost incalculabe pain, begin with the clash between myself and someone who shall not be named.
Remember how salty I was when I wrote about Wonderful Life, and how I kept throwing shade left, right and centre for the last twelve months or so? Well… it would be unfair to say this photo started it all, but it did open a considerable can of worms that eventually spiralled out of control.
When you hear the name “Hurts”, chances are, if you don’t think of Woderful Life, you’ll think of Stay. It’s one of their signature songs and ultimate power ballads. Again, it should have been among the first photos in the project, except I wanted it to be shot in this very specific location: the panoramic observation point of Capo Caccia, a majestic 180 metre high limestone cliff with perhaps the most breathtaking view of the sea I’ve ever seen – the same I used for another important photo of mine, The Gathering Of The Clouds from the Weather Systems project.
Being a song about an ever-lasting love that conquers all and stuff, I also wanted to model in it with a very specific person, with whom I used to have a very special bond – the same I was saving Wonderful Life for. This resulted in the idea lying dormant for years because, contrary to finding a damn bridge to shoot on, taking said person to Sardinia would be very difficult and expensive. Really, I don’t hold the long wait against them this time: we discussed it and decided to wait for a chance to do that without pressure, even if it took us years. And years it did take, because we talked about it some time in 2012 or 2013, and then that person had a chance to come visit me in Sardinia last summer, in 2018.
Now, to be fair we did try to go and shoot this photo. We arrived on location with some difficulties (because my mother got rid of the car in the meantime, and Sardinian public transports are a joke) and then, out of nowhere, we got hit by a literal tropical storm that forced us to retreat.
I’d rather not get into too much detail on what happened next, let’s just say we did have time to reschedule, and also a ride to get there more comfortably, but some excuses were brought up and it really felt like someone else’s (already shot) passion projects that needed the Sardinian sea as a backdrop were prioritised over mine, which was becoming a bit too recurring. Except now there would be no “next time”: short of winning the lottery, that person ain’t coming back to Sardinia anytime soon. Also, “Come on, it’s been seven years, it can wait a couple more” was not the best quip to make right then.
Anyway, aside from the ensuing wreckage on the personal side of things, this is the event that made me re-evaluate taking photos with “special people” as tokens of affection and stuff: yeah, cool and all if we get to do that in a few months, but I’m not gonna wait forever anymore. Given that I wouldn’t be shooting this photo (or any photo) with that person ever again, I decided to keep the location and see whom I could find to shoot: with me, with another male model, whatever, I just wanted this photo done.
My patience was repaid when I met Nicola and Loli, who are a real-life couple. Considering what good results working with real-life couples has yielded so far, I asked them if they’d be interested in modelling for me and they accepted. We scheduled a day, discussed outfits and grooming, kept an eye on the weather forecast just in case. I won’t lie, I was a nervous wreck all morning, especially because the sky was murky, and I’m seriously having a hard time trusting that people will actually follow through with their commitments; but at last, we went on location, there was no impending downpour or anything, and no one was having second thoughts, imagine that.
It took me longer than usual to shoot because the cloud coverage was very spotty so I had to constantly adjust to the shifting light, the wind was extraordinarily scarce so the veil wouldn’t float, and I had to juggle my camera and a reflecting panel all by myself. In the end, though, everything worked out very well, especially thanks to Nicola and Loli’s ability to keep the pose and look intense despite my screw ups.
So, while the general concept for the photo has remained pretty much the same all this time, when I moved from friends to an actual couple as models, the pose evolved from solemn, allegorical-looking to more intimate and affectionate. I had the background to give the epicness, so I could keep the modelling more subdued. The lack of wind turned the green veil, which is a nod to the video for the song, from a floating barrier that was supposed to be falling from in-between the characters to a link between them. I also took full advantage of the slight humidity, which mellowed out the background colours, and the reflective panel, which enhanced the colours on the models, to have them stand out even more.
One thing I’m really glad about, though, is how “in the moment” I was while shooting, how I let go of whatever unfortunate circumstance had kept me from taking the photo sooner: I was there to create something beautiful, to have a good time with some friends and to add a piece to one of my big projects. There was no room for spite, I wasn’t there to prove a point or show anyone up – which I was afraid could taint the photo to me, somehow. I’m really just glad I took this photo and it looks the way it does. Oh, and by the way, as soon as we got back in town, we looked across the bay at Capo Caccia and saw there was a downpour, I swear! We took the photo just on time, so it was really meant to be this way.
I’d rather not get into too much detail on what happened next, let’s just say we did have time to reschedule, and also a ride to get there more comfortably, but some excuses were brought up and it really felt like someone else’s (already shot) passion projects that needed the Sardinian sea as a backdrop were prioritised over mine, which was becoming a bit too recurring. Except now there would be no “next time”: short of winning the lottery, that person ain’t coming back to Sardinia anytime soon. Also, “Come on, it’s been seven years, it can wait a couple more” was not the best quip to make right then.
Anyway, aside from the ensuing wreckage on the personal side of things, this is the event that made me re-evaluate taking photos with “special people” as tokens of affection and stuff: yeah, cool and all if we get to do that in a few months, but I’m not gonna wait forever anymore. Given that I wouldn’t be shooting this photo (or any photo) with that person ever again, I decided to keep the location and see whom I could find to shoot: with me, with another male model, whatever, I just wanted this photo done.
My patience was repaid when I met Nicola and Loli, who are a real-life couple. Considering what good results working with real-life couples has yielded so far, I asked them if they’d be interested in modelling for me and they accepted. We scheduled a day, discussed outfits and grooming, kept an eye on the weather forecast just in case. I won’t lie, I was a nervous wreck all morning, especially because the sky was murky, and I’m seriously having a hard time trusting that people will actually follow through with their commitments; but at last, we went on location, there was no impending downpour or anything, and no one was having second thoughts, imagine that.
It took me longer than usual to shoot because the cloud coverage was very spotty so I had to constantly adjust to the shifting light, the wind was extraordinarily scarce so the veil wouldn’t float, and I had to juggle my camera and a reflecting panel all by myself. In the end, though, everything worked out very well, especially thanks to Nicola and Loli’s ability to keep the pose and look intense despite my screw ups.
So, while the general concept for the photo has remained pretty much the same all this time, when I moved from friends to an actual couple as models, the pose evolved from solemn, allegorical-looking to more intimate and affectionate. I had the background to give the epicness, so I could keep the modelling more subdued. The lack of wind turned the green veil, which is a nod to the video for the song, from a floating barrier that was supposed to be falling from in-between the characters to a link between them. I also took full advantage of the slight humidity, which mellowed out the background colours, and the reflective panel, which enhanced the colours on the models, to have them stand out even more.
One thing I’m really glad about, though, is how “in the moment” I was while shooting, how I let go of whatever unfortunate circumstance had kept me from taking the photo sooner: I was there to create something beautiful, to have a good time with some friends and to add a piece to one of my big projects. There was no room for spite, I wasn’t there to prove a point or show anyone up – which I was afraid could taint the photo to me, somehow. I’m really just glad I took this photo and it looks the way it does. Oh, and by the way, as soon as we got back in town, we looked across the bay at Capo Caccia and saw there was a downpour, I swear! We took the photo just on time, so it was really meant to be this way.
