Afraid Of The Dark

“Holding you close feels like a cut-throat:
Losing blood, the weakness of falling in love…

And I was never afraid of the dark
Until you.
Oh, the weapon you make of my heart…
And it’s true,
I was never afraid of the dark
Until you
Oh, the weapon you make of my heart…

Resisting your soul is walking a tightrope.
The distant sound of dangerous ground: wolves are calling.

And I was never afraid of the dark,
No, I was never afraid until you.
Oh, the weapon you make of my heart…
And it’s true,
I was never afraid of the dark,
No, I was never afraid until you.
Oh, the weapon you make of my heart…

Love is believing…
Love is believing…

And I was never afraid of the dark,
No, I was never afraid until you.
Oh, the weapon you make of my heart…
And it’s true,
I was never afraid of the dark,
No, I was never afraid until you.
Oh, the weapon you make of my heart…
The weapon you make of my heart…”

[ Afraid Of The Dark – Phildel ]

Seventh work from The Disappearance Of The Girl.
I often mentioned I have some difficulties when it comes to putting my favourite songs into images, and Afraid Of The Dark is definitely my favourite Phildel song. Weirdly enough, this time it wasn’t nearly as difficult as usual because I got the idea you can see from the very first time I heard it: it just emerged from the music and lyrics and there it was, ready to be shot. When Luisa and I first started discussing the idea of doing the project together, the then faceless figures simply became us.

The reason why I feel so connected with this song is I think it’s the best metaphorical representation of how falling in love feels to a sentimentally guarded person: dark, dangerous, disempowering, possibly deadly. I see so much of myself, how I feel and what I fear in these lyrics, which is one of the reasons why I decided I wanted to be in the photo myself: it’s my song, really. But despite identifying with the protagonist of the lyrics, for some reason I immediately pictured myself as the addressee of the song, the “dark” – maybe because I was too scared to picture myself in such a vulnerable way. I’d really rather be the seducer rather than the seduced one.

Of course, this work is 100% allegorical and based on the metaphors in the lyrics: I represent the dark and love, tempting a reluctant person who is falling in love, which is represented by the cut-throat and the tight heart pendant. Similarly to The Disappearance Of The Girl, the dark is engulfing the protagonist leaving her no choice. Which means that no, I am not addressing in any way, let alone romanticising, the subject of domestic violence against women or abusive relationships. Everything is purely symbolical. The styling is also functional to this concept, which is why I went back to my gothic look with black nail polish and heavy eye shadow, while Luisa is all in white and has a natural make up.
While the photo itself was quite easy to shoot thanks to Luisa’s amazing interpretation, the postproduction was a bit difficult because I wanted the image to be perfect and just as powerful as the original song. There had to be a lot of engulfing black but I didn’t want it to look empty, so I had to pull off a good texturisation. I opted for a thin veil of smoke to enhance the idea of engulfing, as well as the perceived dangerousness of love. I also let my figure blend with the background because I am not supposed to be a real person, just a personification. I’m extremely satisfied with the results and the chemistry Luisa and I showed, which is something I could have never done without someone who’s been one of my best friends for so many years now! I really recommend that you listen to the song while looking at the photo, and hope you feel the same emotion as I do.