Devotion

“Inside the heart of every man
There is a lust, you understand,
And I’m just the same.
When all the love has gone away
And passion stares me in the face,
Could I walk away?

Here’s hoping
That you will be there.
Here’s hoping
You’ll help me to be brave.

Devotion, save me now,
I don’t want to stray from the hallow ground.
I’ll turn temptation down,
I’m asking you to take me to safety this time.

Forgive my thoughts when I’m asleep,
Forgive these words I’m yet to speak,
I feel so ashamed.
Right now you seem so far away,
So much confusion clouds my way
And I don’t know which path to take.

Here’s hoping
That you can hear me.
Here’s hoping
You’ll help me to resist.

Devotion, save me now,
I don’t want to stray from the hallow ground.
I’ll turn temptation down,
I’m asking you to take me to safety this time.

Devotion, devotion,
I’m a slave unto the mercy of your love.
For so long I’ve been so wrong,
I could never live without you.”

[ Devotion – Hurts ]

The concept for Devotion has been floating around my head for quite some time now: what I needed was to have both a male and a female model to pose with me, with the original plan including the use of the tripod and timer. This photo is the reason why I decided to ask Alessio to pose in the first place, as going to Turin to see BriarRose I knew I’d already have a female model. The original idea was to have her posing with us, but when the photoshoot started taking shape and Giulia joined us, we decided that she would be posing and BriarRose would take the photo instead.

Now, I’m not sure how Theo would take my intepretation of the song if he were to read this, but to me it’s so much more than your garden variety love triangle. There’s something so specific in all this talk about deviotion, and temptation, and salvation, and shame that made me immediately think of a closet case. As simple as that, I put it into the photo: she and I might very well love each other, but she knows I yearn for more (thus the embittered sideways glance), and he knows too (but won’t act not to upset the balance), and I want to reach out to him, but she’s there too, and I really have no idea whom I want to be saved by.
Fortunately, this torture is not something I’ve been through in my life, but it hits close enough to home that I could relate to it and try to act it.

Once again, BriarRose made an amazing work, shooting exactly what I wanted and directing us so that we’d fit my idea (of course, I had little to no control over the poses once I stepped in front of the lens), so a huge part of the merit is hers. Alessio and Giulia also deserve a special mention for doing everything despite the fat that I didn’t tell them much about the deeper meaning of my idea, I just told them where to sit and what to do. But well, our team work out perfectly in the end.

After The Rain

[ After The Rain - Katie Noonan & The Captains ]

When shooting in Stupinigi, I decided to leave the photos of Alessio and Giulia together as the last ones. Firstly beause Giulia was quite busy with Briar Rose on her own, secondly (and more importantly) becauese I wanted both to become more comfortable and confident with my new lens and have the models relax and be at their ease, so they could be the most natural and expressive they could in the photos. Thus, I waited till Briar Rose was done with Giulia and I had enough photos of Alessio alone before I had the two of them interacting in front of my own lens.
I must really thank both of them for just bringing all those emotions to life and being so natural and comfortable at posing together despite not knowing each other at all. This allowed me to focus on my own job and try ifferent techniques to catch exactly what they were showing, with amazing results: I think these are among the best portraits I’ve ever taken, in particular After The Rain.


Each shoot has a particular story of its own, so I recommend that you have a look at the deviantART pages if you’re curious. Meanwhile, I wish all of you a merry Christmas.

Do You See What I'm Seeing?

“Clouds are marching along,
Singing a song just like they do.
If the clouds were singing a song
I’d sing along, wouldn’t you too?
If you just knew what they could do,
Oh, if you just knew, what would they do?
And if the birds are just hollow words
Flying along singing a song,
What would they do if they just knew
What they could do, oh, if they just knew?

I know it’s sad that I never gave a damn about the weather
And it never gave a damn about me.
I know it’s sad that I never gave a damn about the weather
And it never gave a damn about me.
No, it never gave a damn about me.

I know it’s mad, but if I go to hell, will you come with me or just leave?
I know it’s mad, but if the world were ending, would you kiss me or just leave me,
Just leave me?”

[ Do You Know What I’m Seeing? - Panic! At The Disco ]

The first part of my photoshoot with the handsome Alessio La Bella taken in Stupinigi, near Turin, has been published. All the photos featuring Alessio alone are up and now I’m going to publish the second part, which features both him and the charming Giulia Biletta (previously starring as Jezebeth for my Infernal Lords series). As we’re about mid-way, with this photo perfectly summarizing what I meant to represent in this shoot, I think it’s time to spend some words about this whole series.
A bit of background first: I met Alessio totally randomly at Lucca Comics And Games 2011 where he had a kingyo-sukui stand together with a friend, and I immediately thought he’d look awesome in front of my lens. I looked up his Kingyo Sukui Facebook page (which I recommend you to visit if you’re interested in nice gadgets) and added him just in case. When I started planning my trip to visit BriarRose in Turin, I asked him if by any chance he could interested in posing, he agreed and we arranged a meeting. Which became a sort of photography workshop when not only BriarRose joined as a photographer (I initially asked her to help me as MUA and assistant), but also Giulia came to model. But despite things getting a bit delirious (mainly because you can’t expect BriarRose, Giulia and me to be serious for more than ten seconds when we’re all together), we ended up mutually boosting our creativity with brilliant results.
This time, I deliberately chose a model who was totally out of the goth scene because I just wanted to focus on different things. Which is, I wanted to do an autumn-winter fashion editorial-like thing with a shade of emotion in it. Also, I had just bought my new 50mm lens and I wanted to explore its potential by putting more care into the composition and such.
I was quite glad to learn that Alessio had no modelling experience whatsoever, as this would preserve the genuineness of the feelings I wanted the photos to have (it could have turned into him being a bit awkward at the beginning, but I was sure I would overcome it with a good direction if that were the case). This proved to be the right choice: while I gladly found out he could work without having to be strictly directed, allowing me to take care of the composition, his way of posing was so natural and genuine that he added the emotional depth I wanted to complete the fashionable feeling. This can be clearly seen in the photo above, which was actually taken while he was standing up after posing for another photo, but turned out to be exactly what I wanted. Thism together with more everyday-like outfits and the autumn magic of the location, which added either a romantic or a decadent feeling depending on the mood of the photo, I was able to achieve exactly what I wanted, even getting to develop old concepts of mine such as Eliot.

Technically speaking, the main features of this photoshoot was the use of extremely short depth of field to explore the bokeh world, an accurate study of compositions (pyramidal such as in The Promise, use of natural frames such in Looking Outside Inside) and a careful evaluation of lights and shadows in order to make volumes stand out and get dramatic black and whites in postproduction (except for Holy Pool Of Memories and Eliot which relied mostly on colours instead). I also worked a lot with diptychs, often thinking of how two photos would look if matched on two pages of a magazine (even though most of diptych are yet to come). To be completely honest – and I rarely give in to free self-congratulation – when I was done with post-production I was stunned by some of my own photos and wondered, did I really take them myself? It was a bit weird to see how I improved virtually overnight just by buying a better lens which removed several limits I needed to overcome to fully express my ideas. Now I can’t wait to take more photos, I’m eager to further explore what I can do now with a better equipment.
But meanwhile, enjoy the first part of this photoshoot:

The Infernal Lords XVIII: Jezebeth

“Can I steal your mind for a while?
Can I stop your heart for a while?
Can I freeze your soul and your time?
Scorpion flower, token of death,
Ignite the skies with your eyes.”
[ Scorpion Flower – Moonspell & Anneke Van Giersbergen ]

Countess Jezebeth is a Higher Demon from the Fourth Level. A former Principality, she was one of the first Angels to be recruited by Duke Belial, whom she’s been following eagerly ever since. The two played a pivotal role in the preparation of the Great Heavenly War, as they used their eloquence to turn several Angels to the cause of Emperor Lucifer. Moreover, together with Count Kobal Countess Jezebeth was the one in charge of distracting Yahweh from what was going on, and the two were successful in their role until the near beginning of the war. Her cunning and great lying ability led Countess Jezebeth to become the very embodiment of deceitfulness and after the Fall she became the Demon of Lies and Falsehood. She is so proud of her mischievousness that, once in Hell, she altered her physical appearance growing a scorpion tail, which also vehicles her elemental power of Venom.
Despite Duke Belial being an even better liar than herself, she’s the one in charge of the specific use of falsehood as a vessel for Evil in the Sublunar World. Her modus operandi is slightly different for that of many Demons, as she often chooses multiple victims at once, possessing one in order to gain the trust of the others and lure them all to their downfall. Occasionally, she clashes with Viscount Legion over Mortals, as she likes to annoy him by aiming as his same victims.
Her life at Court is one of the most intense. She is part of both Duke Belial’s retinue and Duke Beelzebub’s Order of the Great Fly (due to her Element deriving from Earth), and her mundane, gossipy and chatty manners make her a very popular figure to whom many Courtiers turn for some light-hearted fun, the true heart of many soirées along with her dear friend, Marquise Decarabia. Whether it’s true or not, her gossip, much often provided by Marquis Rosiel, is always very entertaining and she’s so good at lying that she can deceive even those Demons who are most familiar with her lies; many of the falsehoods she passed off as truth become the whispers that animate the chit-chatting behind the ladies’ fans for days and days. Besides Viscount Legion, whom she often pretends to befriend in order to spread gossip about, she’s mostly at odds with Marquis Nergal, who strongly disapproves of her utter dishonesty. But no doubt – he can be tricked by Countess Jezebeth’s stingy tongue too…

Jezebeth: development and symbolism

Credits:
Photo, concept, manipulation, frame design: GothicNarcissus
Model: Giulia Biletta
Styling: GothicNarcissus and BriarRose
Hair, make up: BriarRose
Additional resources: Amptone-stock (textures), BrokenWing3dStock (wings), Dracoart-stock (scorpion tail)

I found out about a Demon called Jezebeth thanks to a friend of mine who played a character on a RPG who was possessed by Jezebeth, the Demon of Lies and Falsehood. Even though this was pretty much all that I could find about the Demon itself (the sources are very scarce), I sort of liked it mostly because of the name and decided it would be one of my Infernal Lords.

Sounds quite neat and easy, doesn’t it? Hell, no. Not only did I have nothing but a single line with no further explanation about Jezebeth, but this Demon was “specialised” in something totally abstract and difficult to represent. On the one hand, this gave me total freedom on how to portray it, on the other I was a bit frustrated for not having much to work on. It was a very though challenge, which I decided to accept anyway.

The only thing I had clear about this Demon from the beginning was that its name sounded very feminine, so I decided it would be a girl (back then there were too few Ladies in the series). At first, I thought she’d have to look very mischievous, so I decided to cast my dear friend ContessaNera with her badass pin up fringe for the role. She wasn’t very thrilled at the idea and, after some pressure, I decided to change her role into one I knew she would love as a linguist: Agares, the Demon of languages.

An early draft of ContessaNera as Jezebeth.

In the meantime, Jezebeth stayed in a limbo waiting to be recast, but at that point I just had no ideas at all and focussed on other Demons. Then I found Giulia, a friend of BriarRose’s. Looking at her photos, I got immediately fascinated by her sweet, innocent looks and decided it was perfect for the Demon of Falsehood: what could be more deadly deceiving than a tender-looking monster? And that was the easiest part.

The though thing now was, how to visually represent the actual concept of falsehood? The right idea came up while I was talking about it with my mother, DamaInNero: a scorpion. The scorpion can be seen as one of the most mischievous animals, as it spends its life undercover, remains hidden but is always ready to attack at the right moment. I could very well recycle the old cliché of the Devil with a tail (a total novelty for my series) making a good-looking one. Insect wings to complete the supernatural visuals, and the general idea was finally there.

On the other hand, when I was at home for the sumer break, I enjoyed watching Agatha Christie’s Poirot on television, which revamped my huge love for the Tweinties and Thirties’ aesthetics. This made me think, what about doing a Twenties-looking Jezebeth? Why not? I’m quite fed up with Victorian aesthetics and such an experiment would bring some novelty to the project. Also, as I knew I would most likely meet Giulia together with BriarRose and the latter is the most gifted make up artist I’ve met and had the pleasure to work with: the thing could work perfectly. I talked with the girls, they loved the idea and we stared thinking of when to schedule the shoot. Side note: I truly have to thank BriarRose for making such a magnificent work with the hairstyle and make up, she really made the difference!

It’s also worth mentioning that the circumstances of this work were quite unique: all my previous attempts to do more than one Infernal Lord at a time (like for instance in the same trip) didn’t work. If I arranged more than one shoot, some of the models (if not all) could not come in the end. This time I also shot Kobal, like, an hour later and then went off to do more shoot with both models; so, apparently the “curse” put on my project took a day off, which I really loved.

I wrote about almost all the symbolism of this work, but I still have to say that Jezebeth holds a fan because women used to cover their mouth with them when they were gossiping, so it represents idle and malevolent talking. Also, I wanted Jezebeth to have an ambiguous, malicious smile to complete the whole work, and Giulia did it perfectly. The seal I used (yes, there is a seal, you just have to look for it) is that of Bune, which I chose because it reminds of an insect or an arachnid, reprising the scorpion motif.

As ContessaNera took red away with her, I didn’t have a main colour in my mind for this photo and I eventually chose purple taupe because it matched the original hue of the photo. Choosing the theme-song was another difficult part and I changed my mind several times over the past months. Eventually, when the scorpion idea stung (pun intended), I opted for Scorpion Flower by Moonspell featuring Anneke Van Giersbergen, for quite obvious reasons.

Affair

“Rock me on the river,
Where my troubles belong.
‘Cause you know I love you,
But I know it’s wrong,
But your body is all that I want.

Rosy affair,
You took my heart for a little while.
Greatest mistake I ever made, loving you.
Rosy affair,
I gave you my heart for a little while.
I wish I could stay with you tonight,
But I’m going home.

And we danced all night in the shadows,
Alone we stood in the crowd,
But I’m going crazy now you’re not around.
You should find another lover, baby,
Won’t let you down.

If I stay here tonight
There’ll be trouble,
But I don’t want to pretend,
‘Cause I know that we’ll make it.
My heart just can’t take it no more,
But I would rather lose a lover, baby, over it all.

Rosy affair,
You took my heart for a little while.
Greatest mistake I ever made, loving you.
Rosy affair,
I gave you my heart for a little while.
I wish I could stay with you tonight,
But I’m going home.”

[ Affair – Hurts ]

Of course, despite the photobook being printed and gifted to the guys, I just couldn’t wait too long before I took another Hurts-inspired photo, so here we go with the beautiful and emotional ballad, Affair.
The story behind this photo issimilar to Happiness, in that onge again, it was BriarRose who suggested the general idea, and then I found a perfect connection with my (other) favourite muse. This time, the challenge was to directly quote an existing photograph that BriarRose particularly loved, for which I fell too upon seeing it. She asked me to find it a suitable title, and after thinking of some minor adjustments to fit the song I thought it was the perfect match to Affair.

The first difficulty to overcome once we were at work was the lack of a chandelier, which added that special touch to the original photo. To fill the emptiness, we opted for that particular dress so that its golden pattern would stand out in black and white, catching the eye and making up for the chandelier. Besides, I tried to get a somewhat colder feeling by having a looser hugh, as if they were done and the guy was about to go home as in the song.
One thing I really love about this photo is how expressive BriarRose is despite not showing her face at all: the line of her back, the neck and her hand have something very emotional about them. Also, I love how she did her hair, she’s becoming one of the best hairdresser and make up artists I know personally.

Edit 2018:
So, guys, you know how I’m a spiteful bitch who can hold a grudge literally for decades? Well, it just so happens that I’ve always loved this photo, but felt that BriarRose’s then-boyfriend totally ruined it. I mean, you can’t quite go and tell your best friend that her boyfriend isn’t photogenic at all, what with his weirdly-proportioned face, shapeless nose, ginormous forehead, receding hairline and, especially, that greasy, greasy hair without a definite cut that goddamnit, just looks so out of place in a hommage to Romy Schneider and Alain Delon from the 1950’s!
Well, turned out that said then-boyfriend is positively pretty on the outside compared to how ugly he is on the inside, which means I’m entitled to have absolutely zero respect for him (especially because I’m fiercely protective of my friends), which means I can have no qualms about basically remaking him from scratches in Photoshop. Seriously, I liquefied the hell out of his face and, in particular, I gave him a fucking haircut to turn him into the pretty boy this photo needed. If only there were a metaphysical Photoshop that could make that ugly mess he calls a personality just as nice.
In case you’re wondering, yes, I went back to edit this photo after seven years of being secretly bothered, and yes, I’m still holding this much grudge even though he’s long since out of my friend’s life for good. I’m just that person. But lo and behold, finally I’m 100% satisfied with Affair!

The Infernal Lords XVII: Leviathan

“And I don’t know how to live,
‘Cause I am broken and I fall and fall again.
With this broken skin I try to look like you.
Hope it makes me blend in like reptiles do.”
[ Reptile – The Crest ]

The Grand Admiral of the Sea Serpent, Marquis Leviathan, was formerly a high-ranking Seraph under Duchess Astarte’s leadership and the third Angel to be cast out of Heaven, following Emperor Lucifer and Archduke Beelzebub. He is now the Demon of Envy and belongs to the Seven Satans, the First-Level Demons. He is also the Demon of Water, a power he retained after the Fall, and is the most closely related to his own Element out of the four Elemental Demons. This makes his nature strongly connected to that of marine reptiles, which is made evident by his beautiful, androgynous face half-covered in scales, and his dragon wings, which strangely don’t spoil his good looks. He is also an Astral Demon, with the mastership of the astrological influence of Planet Neptune. Deeply envious of God and his overpower on Earth, he’s always eager when it comes to corrupt men with his Sin, often working by Queen Barbelo’s side, like when the two plotted, with a little help from Marquise Anamelech, that Cain kill Abel to introduce murder on Earth. Among other deeds, he was also responsible for the Delilah and Samson incident, but is mostly famous for the central role he played in the Tree of Knowledge Plot: he was indeed the Serpent who lured Adam and Eve to eat the apple, leading them to their downfall.
Despite being severely consumed by his own Sin to the point of occasionally lashing out at fellow Courtiers, he’s a prominent, popular and well respected figure in Hell and has a good relationship with most of Demons, who have learnt to deal with his occasional bad temper. Beside his close friendship with Queen Barbelo and Archduke Beelzebub, he tags along with Prince Abaddon and Duke Azazel, both Third Level Demons and Army Generals. He is a Military Chief and a skilled soldier himself, being the Leader of the Infernal Fleet, which is made of Knuckers, Nixies, Kelpies and other lesser Water Demons. He’s also in charge of guarding Hell’s borders along with Marquis Nergal, patrolling the riverine frontier and often using his mastership of Water to drown the intruders in the Infernal River. He greatly enjoys the company of Count Furcifel when he joins them for the patrols.
While not strongly involved in the mundane life at Court, during the events he enjoys associating and courteously entertaining with the ladies, most often with the ever charming Marquise Decarabia.

Leviathan: development and symbolism

Credits:
Photo, concept, manipulation, styling, make up, frame design: GothicNarcissus
Model, hair: Kay Rozencaster
Additional resources: Goblin-Stock (scales), Kuschelirmel-Stock (texture), Nightgraue (wings), Taeliac-Stock (texture).

Among all the “traditional” Demons, Leviathan is one of those whose status as a Demon is most disputed. According to the Bible, most notably the Book of Jobs, the Leviathan is nothing but a sea monster that represents chaos. It’s portrayed as a feminine giant serpent with crocodile features (such as sharp teeth) and he’s associated with the Behemoth (the land monster) and, occasionally, the Ziz (the air monster). Traditions have it that it is to be slain and served as a meal to the righteous ones after Judgement Day.

This vision was partly changed by the Christians during the Middle Ages, when the Leviathan became a serpent-like demonic creature that endangered God’s creatures both by eating them and by threatening them with the waters of Chaos, and was also associated with the Hellmouth, a monster that eats sinners after the Final Judgement.

Behemoth and Leviathan by William Blake (1826).

The first account of Leviathan as a proper Demonic figure comes from Thomas Aquinas, who described him as the Demon of Envy, in charge of punishing the related sinners. This version was further developed by Peter Binsfeld, according to whom Leviathan was the Demon that tempted men with Envy. Sebastian Michaelis described him as a former Seraph and the third Angel to be cast out of Heaven, following Lucifer and Beelzebub. Many sources describe him as the Great Admiral of the Infernal Fleet, and even as the very Serpent who tempted Adam and Eve in Eden. Finally, his figure was further developed in Satanism, where Leviathan is one of the most importand Demons and represents one of the four Elements, Water.

Such a rich and detailed tradition about Leviathan made it easy for me to notice him immediately; even Kaori Yuki mentioned him in Angel Sanctuary, despite drawing him only in the side notes (for he was too difficult to do) and not giving him even a small cameo anywhere (except cloaked among the other Seven Satans in one scene). Her version is not much different from the traditional one, and Leviathan appears as the silhouette of a huge sea dragon.
With all this material, Leviathan was one of the first names to be written on my Demons-to-do list back in autumn 2009. Similarly to Mammon and Beelzebub, he presented me with the challenge to render his animal-like features without spoiling the good looks of the model. What you can see today is the exact idea I had back then: dragon wings on his back and scales on his cheeks (a small exception to the total absence of monstrous features); I also initially thought of a forked tongue, but it would have looked tacky.
For some reason not even I do know, I had decided that Leviathan should have long, straight, black hair; I looked for a model with serpentine features (and possibly with a nose, unlike Lord Voldemort), but I necessarily wanted him with long, black, perfectly straight hair parted in the middle; I also decided all along that Leviathan’s Seal would be on his forehead. I found a possible model who lived in Turin as soon as February 2010, but when I went there to meet BriarRose and shoot Lilith, he was in London. He said he was interested in the role anyway, but when I tried again to arrange a meeting some months later, he replied thad he did “not have time for my project”. Which was fine, at least he did not reply “maybe, someday” and I could go on with my search. I considered two other people, but was not totally convinced until I found Kay on Facebook. His features were perfect for the role and after talking about what he was going to do with his hair, I decided that the role was his. He accepted and, after a couple of postponements, we arranged to meet and shoot.
As I mentioned above, the final work looks almost exactly how I initially imagined it. The serpentine dagger was one of the first elements I decided to include: I saw it at my dear Ayl’s house, and asked her if she could lent it to me; I decided the dagger was to be included because I see Envy as a rather violent, murderous sin, but in a subtler way than Wrath, and a dagger is a more mischievous weapon than Barbelo’s whip (it was the Borgias’ weapon of choice, for instance). The last element I added to the picture was the jacket: beside his hair, another thing I really wanted for Leviathan was to have a look in-between military and sumptuous, as he belongs to the highest group of Hell’s nobility but is an important serviceman too. When I bought my H&M jacket, beside being amazed by the fact I found my size, I also thought it would be perfect for Leviathan’s outfit, so I decided I would bring it along and lend it to the model. The funny thing is that when I pulled it out of my suitcase, Kay laughed and showed me he had the same jacket, so we eventually used his: it was just destiny; with its military-like but decorated shape, the jacket completed the symbolism of the photo. As Leviathan is not a Goetic Demon, I borrowed his Seal from Eligos, as it really looks like a sea serpent. At a certain point I also wanted to include an apple in the photo, horizontally cut in two to show the five-pointed star in the core, but while shooting I realised the idea just didn’t work.
I think it’s quite clear why I used green as the theme colour for the Demon of Envy, isn’t it? As for the song, Reptile by The Crest (Nell Sigland’s first band) was the perfect fit for the character.
On a side note, due to some postponements this photo was finally shot on November 13th, which is Nell’s birthday. Thus, I want to dedicate this work to her. Nell, I know a portrait of the Demon of Envy is a weird birthday dedication, but I hope you like it anyway (besides, Theo Hutchcraft from Hurts got a photo of me half-drowned, so maybe this is not the weirdest birthday dedication I’ve done).
Once again, special thanks to LunarShore for his precious advice.

Beautiful Decline

“Fingers of rust gently intertwine
Lace the seams of sacrifice in beautiful decline.
Catalysis of creations of all that was mankind
Pull our corruption towards nature, the state that’s predefined.

All that floats upon the sea, all that hangs in the air,
All that sits in dust or dirt eventually ensnared.
The gentle touch of time will take you unaware,
Pulling all creations down, an elegant affair.

Pleasant patina pulls apart a golden copper shrine
Like gently creeping mossy claws, scarring all divine.
All the things you think you value, including the gift of life,
Slowly, gently fall apart till the world is right.

Rust forms bringing it all down,
Wood rots, and into the ground
Flesh falls; life’s decomposed,
Then nature’s again exposed.”

[ Beautiful Decline - Abney Park ]

It seems I’ve post nothing but Hurts-inspired photos lately; which is perfectly understandable, as I was really looking forward to Hurts’ concert and worked very hard to print the book to give them. If you’re wondering how it all ended up, I got to give the book to Adam (as Theo was quicker to vanish into the tourbus), who seemed quite surprised by the type of gift. I don’t know what he and Theo thought about it, but I really hope they had a good time tumbling through my photos.

Now, I think I’m going to take a brak from Hurts-inspired works (also because I’m currently out of ideas and the three I have are currently impossible to take due to several circumstances). In the meantime I went to Lucca Comics And Games, the biggest manga and comics convention in Italy, and had a photoshoot with Francesca and Giulia, two friends of mine who wore those wonderful costumes and kindly agreed to let me shoot them. We took few photos as it was more of a thing for fun among friends, but I loved the results nevertheless. The one above is my favourite from this session, I love how the colours came out in postproduction.

Inspiration Hurts: project presentation

My journey through Hurts music begun with my camera. One evening, a dear friend of mine and I were organizing a photoshoot, and, in the middle of the brainstorming, she sent me the link to Evelyn, asking me what I thought about it and if we could develop her idea of a photo inspired by the song.
Not only it did our minds connect perfectly giving us both the very same image to work on while we were listening, but it touched me so deeply I immediately googled Hurts’ discography. The next step was purchasing Happiness, hitting play and being totally blown away by Silver Lining.

Music is a huge part of my life. Ever since I had a camera and started using it to take artistic photographs, songs became my greatest source of inspiration and most of the photos I have taken in the past five years are my own visual rendition of melodies or lyrics. This happens because through my photography I try to express my inner world; some special pieces of music have a particular resonance with it and I find the reflection of my own thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, pleasures and pains in them, which echo back to me evoking particular images in my mind. This is how most of my photos are born, either while I’m listening to music, or while I’m shooting and see something that reminds me of that particular song.

One of the things I love the most about your music is the intensity of the connection I feel with them and the vividness of the images I receive back. Silver Lining, the work that opens this book, was already sketched by the end of the first chorus and crystal clear by the last, breath-taking “silver” of the final choir ever since the first time I listened to the song, the exact way you can see it on the paper. Same goes with many other works on this  book, even though they disclosed their images later on or invaded my mind while I was already at work.
Another thing worth mentioning is that I’ve been mainly shooting for the past two years and fell back in love with modelling mostly thanks to these photos. When I conceive the images, I immediately notice that most of the ideas for Hurts-inspired photos feature myself as the subject, despite my general lack of will to crawl in front of the lens. I think it’s because I share my feelings with your song so strongly and deeply that I can’t help but being part of the image myself, it’s almost automatic.

Not all of your songs have their related photos in this book. Some of them chose to leave their secrets Unspoken, for now, and I don’t want to rush or force them; others have already disclosed them, and the images they showed me Stay in my mind, but haven’t found the right moment to be brought to the light yet; and then, there are also some songs which still wait the right inspiration to bloom, be recorded and provide me with fresh inspiration in turn, someday.

As the creative process means a lot to me and I especially cherish every source of inspiration – making art is truly cathartic to me, and the worst periods come when I’m out of ideas – I felt I had to show my gratitude to you, who make the music that inspires me the most in this period. I thought the best way to pay you homage was to print the photos and hand you the book. I hope that by looking at them you may have a glimpse of the feelings your songs give me and how good I feel when I can put them into a new work. Truth be told, it feels Better Than Love.

From the preface of Inspiration Hurts (But it feels Better Than Love).

Sunday

“There are times when we question the things we know.
Never thought that the cracks would begin to show.
We both know love is not that easy.
I wish I’d known that it would be this hard to be alone.
Please, come home.

Is this the end of a love that has just begun?
I always hoped that the best, it was yet to come.
So please, come back, don’t you leave me,
We’re both so young, I know you need me too
And there’ll always be times like these.

Loveless nights, they seem so long;
I know that I’ll hold you someday.
Until you come back where you belong
It’s just another lonely Sunday.

If you don’t come back tomorrow
I’ll be left here in the cold.
If you don’t come back tomorrow
I’ll go.

Loveless nights, they seem so long;
I know that I’ll hold you someday.
Until you come back where you belong
It’s just another lonely Sunday.”

[ Sunday – Hurts ]

Posing while shooting and directing another model, all of this blindfolded: now, this is the new frontier of self-portraiture! You can imagine this was not an easy one to take, so please forgive my cropped head.

So, here is a new work for my Inspiration Hurts project, the last one I can include in the printed book due to time schedule (I have to send everything to print within this week or I will get the book too late for the concert). If you can’t see the connection between the song and the photo, I suggest that you have a look at the videoclip, which I directly tributed. I particularly love it, as you have to watch it till the end to get the right perspective on the enigmatically blended scenes and understand it’s a very original rendition of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth.

I was so fascinated by this turning point and its modern interpretation (the mirror door in which Theo/Orpheus sees his Eurydice losing her is pure genius) that I decided to play on that for my photo, building my own rendition of the story with personal symbolism.

I decided to depict the moment of the ascension from the Underworld, with me as Orpheus leading Eurydice (played by my flatmate Giulia) by hand. As you may guess, the blood she’s spilling from her mouth is a direct tribute to the video.

As for me, you will notice two things: I’m blindfolded and holding a microphone.

The blindfold is to avoid looking at Eurydice, either out of anxiety like in the original myth, or accidentally like in the Hurts video; the microphone is simply my musical instrument: Orpheus played his lyre to touch Hades and Persephone with his music, while I am a singer so had to rely on my own voice (technically I can play piano too, but it’d be hard to get my dead wife back by covering Evanescence’s Exodus, which is the only tune I still remember how to play). My new pullover is not strictly part of the symbolism, but is worth mentioning because it’s truly gorgeous, so just love it as much as I do.

(Naturally I’m taking for granted that you already know the myth. If you don’t, you can find it on Wikipedia.)

Technically speaking, you may notice this work is rather unusual for me. I used a noticeably downward perspective together with a wide(r)-angle to deform a bit the edges and give the photo a more dynamic touch. Overall I’m satisfied with the results, although not being fully in control of everything due to the blindfold and having to deal with a very narrow space of the set was a huge limit. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever looked less manly than here, but as I try to make the best out of my androgyny anyway, it’s no big deal.

On a side note, I wish I could use a Volga car for my photo: seeing all those Russian references in the video totally sent my Belarusian half in orbit.

Cold Comfort

“I feel what can only be described
As a chill through my every bone,
A gnawing at my sense of home,
An iridescent black and blue.

What you see isn't always what you have
And to hold dear is to never let go.

Yet I still feel well,
Cold comfort to the empty-hearted.
Bound and broken.
Cold comfort, for what was left unspoken
Will have me wishing you were here.

Keep home fires burning,
Spark a yearning for the confines of home.
Keep home fires burning,
Spark a yearning in you to find your way home.

Carried your brittle bones beyond these walls.
All colour bled from banner, hung at half-mast.
Future fire set in stone, ghosts of second past
Feed a licking, harrowing flame,
But you would not be scared away.

What you see isn't always what you have
And to hold dear is to never let go.

Rising up from underneath,
Undercurrent of fiery grief.
I'm cold to the touch.
Ghostly cold is your touch.”

[ Cold Comfort - Autumn ]

Autumn, a Dutch metal band which was the first I had a photographic session with, are going to release their new studio album Cold Comfort on November 4th. The front cover and first single of the album were revealed and, as I love their music a lot, I immediately got inspired by both, in particular as I knew I was going to shoot in an abandoned factory. I kept the song in mind, ready to find the right idea that would relate to it.

I found out that, until some years ago, homeless people used to live inside the warehouse I was going to shoot in, and when they were forced to leave, they abandoned most of their belongings inside the building. While exploring it to look for new ideas, we found where they used to camp, which immediately reminded me of the front cover of the Autumn album. For some reasons, what immediately caught my attention was the flowery cup on the parapet of the stairs; I don’t know, I’m often drawn and somehow touched by such small details, so I decided I wanted to preserve it by taking a photo. Also, the spider webs illuminated by the windows on the back added a wonderful touch, so I set up the manual focus and decided to work with them too. I asked the model to stay back in order to suggest a blurry human presence, and the image was complete.

This is how this photo, which is a bit unusual of me, was born.

The Infernal Lords XVI: Nergal

“I’m getting closer and I’m fully armed.
I’m about to hunt you down through
The big black hole right behind you
And I’m about to cut your wings away.

You don’t believe what all the signs say,
You don’t believe in judgment day,
But you won’t be leaving hear unharmed.”
[ Murder – Within Temptation ]

Marquis Nergal is one of the Military Generals of Hell and therefore part of the Third Demonic Level. Naturally bellicose thanks to the influence the Planet he masters, he is the Supreme General of the Infernal Police and, even more notably, the Chief of the Secret Police, acting very effectively both in maintaining internal civil order and preventing infiltrations from outside of Hell. As the General of the regular Police, his role is mainly to prevent seditions from Lesser Demons against the Court and to make public life at least liveable, so that the Infernal Empire does not get weakened by internal struggles and mass murders from the most evil Demons. His much more delicate role as the Chief of the Secret Police consists of tracing potential spies and traitors, often under Archduke Beelzebub’s directives, organising patrols at the borders of Hell together with Marquis Leviathan and directing war trials against the Angels who are caught while trying to infiltrate themselves into Hell. As the former Second-in-Command of Dominions, another crucial role of his is receiving secret information from Prince Absinthion from Heaven and reporting it to Archduke Beelzebub and the other Generals to organise the Infernal Army’s schemes accordingly.

As an Astral Demon, beside Princess Lilith he’s the closest to his own nature, strongly in touch with the influence of Planet Mars and willing to spot his planetary symbol on the forehead nearly all the time. This makes his temper authoritarian, suspicious, devious, slightly misogynistic and very combative, much to the annoyance of the most blithe Demons. He’s particularly at odds with the ever-cheerful Marquise Decarabia, the mischievous Countess Jezebeth or such debauched Satans as Duke Astaroth, Duke Belial and Count Asmodeus, beside being a major supporter of the silent ostracism towards the weird-natured Viscount Legion. His relationship with Queen Barbelo can be described as complicated, as he’s torn between secretly scorning her political and military power, deeming a woman incapable of leading an army and a man like him more suitable as the Demon of Wrath, but greatly admiring her fierce temper nonetheless. At times, his blunt nature clashes with the more diplomatic and scheming Duke Azazel, but both Generals hold each other in great respect. He also appreciates Archduke Beelzebub, being part of his Order of the Great Fly, the militarily skilled Marquis Leviathan and the powerful Count Furcifel, whom he lets join the border patrols. Despite his nature, though, Marquis Nergal can be a very polite Demon and an enjoyable companion… at least in the rare moments when the other Courtiers don’t have to keep some secret from the scarlet eyes of the law.

Nergal: development and symbolism

Credits:

Photo, concept, manipulation, styling, make up, frame design: GothicNarcissus

Model, hair: wishes to remain uncredited

Additional resources: Amptone-stock (texture), SalsolaStock (wings)

Thanks to Kaori Yuki’s Angel Sanctuary, I found out that not only I like Angels and Demons, but also men in military outfits. There are several moments in which some of the characters get to wear a military hat and they all look particularly sexy in it. Thus, when I found out about Nergal, a Demon in charge of some important military duties in Hell, I got immediately fascinated by his figure and decided it could be nice to have him on board. As I once mentioned, the idea of Heaven and Hell being basically two opposite kingdoms with their own court and armies is what intrigues me the most about the Christian conception of supernatural, and Nergal was particularly fitting with this mundane vision. He’s based on a fiery god of destruction, death and war, adored in the Mesopotamian city of Cuth according to the Bible, and when assimilated into the monotheistic system, he was turned into a warrior Demon who, according to Colin De Plancy’s Dictionnaire Infernal, is in charge of the “secret police” of Hell, as well as being an “honorary spy” of Beelzebub’s.

The Mesopotamic god Nergal, upon which the Demon is based.

The aesthetics for such a character were conceived quite easily and almost everything was already clear in my mind by early 2009, when I purchased a DDR Aeronautics hat for the purpose; I had already decided I would also use the handcuffs I already owned for, well, other recreational purposes. Other details would be a military jacket and some medals; the ones you can see in this photo are my grandfather’s, so original Soviet decorations (70th anniversary of the October Revolution, and 20th and 30th anniversaries of the end of World War Two).

As I really liked this Demon but I’ve never been, like, dying to shoot him, I took my time and waited patiently for the right model without rushing, elaborating even more symbolism meanwhile. This time, it was the model who found me and proposed me a collaboration, which I accepted; looking at him I thought he would suit the role and we took the photo amidst a larger photoshoot. By the way, I had to provide the military jacket we needed,  so yes, it’s the same that I used several times in the past, albeit it suits him better than me.

One thing I’m particularly proud of in this work are small details, which I put a big deal of care in, most notably on the hat. I did the red gem with the Infernal emblem and the metallic Seal badge entirely in Photoshop, and then took advantage of the slight blur and noise and the sharp light in the photo to try and blend them correctly, making them look three-dimensional. Below you can see a detail of the photo with the hat (which, by the way, was originally grey with a blue border, quite interesting to turn black and red).

Nergal by GothicNarcissus – detail. Click to enlarge.

Besides the outfit, that represents the military side of Nergal, and the handcuffs, that underline his police duties, the rest of the symbolism is indirectly derived from the deity the Demon was based upon via his Greek counterpart: in Babylonian astrology, Nergal was associated with planet Mars, and he found a counterpart in Ares. Thus, I put the symbol of the planet on his forehead and gave him vulture wings, as vultures were Ares’ sacred animals. I also gave him bright red eyes, as I wanted many red details to stand out of a generally murky photo (thus the sharp, lateral light), and thought they’d be scarier and particularly fitting for Nergal.

On a side note, in this work I put the Seal (borrowed from Aim because it resembles an arrow) on a piece of clothing rather than on the model’s skin. Nergal does have his own Seal imprinted on his body and he has it reproduced on his hat as an identification for lower soldiers (as all military Higher Demons do). I decided to do so in order to try something new and because I had to replace the propeller of the original hat, which didn’t suit the fantasy theme.

The theme colour is asparagus, which is widely used in military clothes, and the theme song is Murder by Within Temptation, really fitting for the character.

Henrietta Savernake’s drama

“Nausicaa, she thought sadly, would not come again. She had been born, had been contaminated and had died…
Queer, thought Henrietta, how things can seep into you without your knowing it…
She hadn’t been listening - not really listening - and yet knowledge of Doris’s cheap, spiteful little mind had seeped into her mind and had, unconsciously, influenced her hands.”

[ The Hollow, chapter 2 - Agatha Christie ]

I know so desperately well sculptress Henrietta Savernake’s drama - described so perfectly by Agatha Christie - when, after basing her Nausicaa on a random girl she met on the bus, she accidentally caught, beside the hollow eyes and expression she was looking for, also the pettiness and meaningless of her model, Doris Sanders, a dull, vulgarly talkative girl who kept pestering the poor artist with her useless problems about the wife of the man who gave her an expensive bracelet (although no, they didn’t do anything inappropriate, it was that woman who was paranoid).
All of the above is awfully true for me as well. I noticed am only able to photograph people when I love and keep them in high regard, or when I don’t know them at all. Once I get to know them and find out they’re nasty, empty, petty and useless, they have nothing more to give to my art. The very thought of shooting them becomes anything but attractive, and if I go on and do it, the photos come out empty, emotionless, artificial and banal.
(I can say, though, that I can consider a proof of my own professionality the fact that quite few people seem to notice this: once, when I did so, the fans and critics’ response was overwelming. Either they’re blind, or I’m good enough to hide it).

Where The Wild Roses Grow

“They call me ‘The Wild Rose’,
But my name was Eliza Day.
Why they call me it I do not know,
For my name was Eliza Day.

From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one
As she stared in my eyes and smiled,
For her lips were the colour of the roses
That grew down the river, all bloody and wild.

When he knocked on my door and entered the room
My trembling subsided in his sure embrace.
He would be my first man, and with a careful hand
He wiped at the tears that ran down my face.

They call me ‘The Wild Rose’,
But my name was EliZa Day.
Why they call me it I do not know,
For my name was Eliza Day.

On the second day I brought her a flower.
She was more beautiful than any woman I’d seen.
I said: ‘Do you know where the wild roses grow,
So sweet and scarlet and free?’

On the second day he came with a single rose.
He said: ‘Give me your loss and your sorrow?’
I nodded my head, as I layed on the bed.
‘If I show you the roses will you follow?’

They call me ‘The Wild Rose’,
But my name was Eliza Day.
Why they call me it I do not know,

For my name was Eliza Day.”

“On the third day he took me to the river.
He showed me the roses and we kissed...”

“...And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he knelt above me with a rock in his fist.”
“On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief.”
“As I kissed her goodbye, I said, ‘All beauty must die’
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth.”
“They call me ‘The Wild Rose’,
But my name was Eliza Day.
Why they call me it I do not know,
For my name was Eliza Day...”
“...My name was Eliza Day,
My name was Eliza Day...”

[ Where The Wild Roses Grow - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds ]

Photos: GothicNarcissus

Models: Briar Rose & Yue

Outfit, hair, make up: Briar Rose

 

It’s a shame I haven’t written about this miniseries yet. Ok, when I shot it I didn’t have this blog yet, and then I was rushing with the presentation of the Infernal Lords, but I should have found some time for it, as I love it deeply.

I’ve always had a sweet spot for Kylie Minogue, and her beautiful collaboration with Nick Cave, which includes an Ophelia-themed videoclip, has always been one of my favourites even before I started listening to Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds last winter. No wonder I immediately conceived a series of photos inspired by their Murder Ballads album and, of course, I proposed the role of Eliza Day to my dear Briar Rose.

Initially, I was supposed to take one single photo for each song, but as always, when Briar Rose and I started discussing the idea, we kept bustin each other’s inspiration until we came up with a whole series of photos portraying the last part of the story until its climax. It was the first time I tried to portray the progression of a story through a series of photos and, although perhaps I’ve been a bit prolix, I’m satisfied with the result. Yue and Briar Rose have been great and played a crucial role in giving the dramatism I needed.

I must say I’ve also been very lucky, as that morning the light in the Parco del Valentino, in Turin, was simply amazing and looked dramatic and artificially planned even though it was completely natural, enhatching the general looks of the photos.

The Murder Ballads project is currently on hiatus, as I’m focusing on other photographic projects, but I already have an idea for the next song. I just have to talk with the models and arrange the meeting, once I’m done with the gift book for Hurts and shoot some new Infernal Lord.

What the Water inspired me

“Time, it took us
To where the water was.
That’s what the water gave me,
And time goes quicker
Between the two of us.
Oh, my love, don’t forsake me,
Take what the water gave me.”

[ What The Water Gave Me – Florence + The Machine ]

The first and main reason why I considered trying to pose in the sea was The Water. As Huts’ music is a very strong, compelling source of inspiration for me lately, I just felt the urge to challenge myself and try this new experiment. While I was thinking of that photo - I had a clear vision of what I wanted, but had to wait for my mother, DamaInNero, to be back from Belarus to take the photo - I started to like the idea a lot, and I decided that I would take more photos. The release of Florence + The Machine’s new, amazing single came totally unexpected, but as the title, lyrics and mood were more than perfect for the main theme of the photoshoot, the inspiration came almost instantly. Also, Anathema’s new album Falling Deeper, a compilation of old songs completely rearranged into a new, dreamy, breathtaking orchestral shape, was leaked onto the internet the day before we scheduled the session. I only listened to a few random songs by Anathema before, but this album was an instant love, so intense that many different, watery ideas started sparkling in my mind.

[ They Die – Anathema ]

The first part of the shoot was not as tough as I expected. First of all, once I got past the moment when I felt so awkward for being about to bath all clothed, I found myself particularly at my ease in the water (I’ve always loved the sea, plus I was dying to dive in, as that day was terribly hot). Everything came out naturally and smoothly, and both my mother and I had quite a lot of fun (in particularly when we had to change the location and I had to walk in the very popular corniche of Alghero fully clothed and wet). I tried to be as much expressive as I could when posing, since all the concepts needed to be emotionally intense, and somehow I finally got what I wanted despite not being usually particularly expressive. Perhaps it’s because I was very inspired and focused in what I was doing, as well as relaxed and amused (despite the fact that I started feeling a little cold quite soon). The second part was more difficult due to the fact that I actually had to go under the water in a very awkward position, which I have talked about in the previous post, but all in all I really enjoyed myself, and in the end, after all the photos were done, I even dared take off my shirt and go swimming with my jeans on under the bemused faces of other bathers! An interesting side note is that my make up survived both the underwater shots and my short swimming, which definitely proved in my eyes that Kiko and Mac are really fine brands.
It was not a long session, with quite few photos, but both the shoot and the resulting pictures were very intense, so it’s absolutely fine. All five photos are among my personal favourites, and I look forward to shooting in the sea again someday.

“Fall deep, fall deep,
Fall deep, fall deep...
Falling deeper, falling deeper,
Falling deeper, falling deeper...

Sleep... sleeep...
It is not I who sleeps,
It is you who sleeps, you sleep.
Insane you sleep, I sleep in sanity.”

[ Crestfallen & Sleep In Sanity – Anathema ]

The Water

“Innocent, they swim.
I tell them no and they just dive right in.
But do they know it’s a long way down
When you’re alone,
And there’s no air or sound
Down below the surface?

There’s something in the water,
I do not feel safe.
It always feels like torture
To be this close.
I wish that I was stronger:
I’d separate the waves,
Not just let the water
Take me away.

There was a time I’d dip my feet
And it would roll off my skin.
Now every time I get close to the edge, I’m scared of falling in.
‘Cause I don’t want to be stranded again
On my own when the tide comes in
And pulls me below the surface.

There’s something in the water,
I do not feel safe.
It always feels like torture
To be this close.
I wish that I was stronger:
I’d separate the waves,
Not just let the water
Take me away.”

[ The Water – Hurts ]

First of all, this photo is a birthday dedication to Theo Hutchcraft, the vocalist of Hurts, who turns 25 today.
With this said, not only am I going on with Hurts-inspired photos, but also on my experimental trip, whose next step was posing in the water, something I had never done before. I asked my mother DamaInNero for help behind the camera (which she was enthusiastic to do), and we went by the sea near our house in Alghero for a little photoshoot.
As I didn’t want to spoil my make up, I left these two photos as the last ones. Also, as I somehow feel that this song is particularly meaningful to Theo, I preferred to get a bit more comfortable in the water before going for the photo. I wanted to do a very good work at portraying the feelings of this song: the tenderness in the melody, but also the fear, the sense of helplessness and loneliness in the lyrics. This is why in the end I decided to do a diptych: at first, I only thought I would take a photo underwater in which I would seem trapped (like the one on the right), but my mother unexpectedly caught the exact moment of exitation before sinking myself, and I decided that together they worked just perfectly.
The left photo was totally unplanned and unexpected, and I was not even truly posing. I was just worrying and shivering in anticipation of the feeling of being down there, exitating before letting myself sink and feel the water invading my nose; I can say it genuinely portrays the feelings of the song, as in that very moment they were my own. Nevertheless, it came out particularly harmonious and aesthetically pleasent, completing the right photo which is strongly distorted by the rifraction of the water and, thus, more dramatic and not as graceful as the other; that was the idea all along, as I wanted it to suggest a sense of claustrophobia and total helplessness, as if the water surface was a glass that could not be broken through. So, I found out that together, they summarize the whole of the song better than as standalone pieces.
Technically speaking, this photo was a pain to take. I mean, literally: I had to lie in the sea with my head below the rest of the body, so air surfaced all at once due to the awkward position and I got plenty of water into my nose, and gosh, it did hurt; and I also had to take it multiple times before I was totally satisfied with the results. It’s not like I was really afraid of drowning all alone, as my mother was there ready to help me, but soon all that salty water started flowing up my nose and then down my throat, and for those moments I really had a glimpse of what drawning may feel like. I didn’t enjoy it, but at least it helped me acting. And I can be sure I washed my nose perfectly,  as I still spilled salty water about an hour after the photoshoot. But after all, who cares? I would do it again for Art’s sake. You may call it masochism, perhaps!

The rest of the photoshoot will follow soon, and you’ll read more in the next days, I promise.

Never Fall In Love

“You want to be my lover,
You want to be my man.
I am a flower
And I hurt your hands.
Don’t say you love me,
Don’t say you care:
I’m not human,
We will never be the same.

You can carry on like that
I will give you all I’ve got.
I’m not the one you’re looking for:
Roses never, never fall in love.

You could be a giant,
You could be a child:
I’m buried in the ground
And I never cry.
Don’t say you love me,
Don’t say you care:
I’m not human,
We will never be the same.

You can carry on like that
I will give you all I’ve got.
I’m not the one you’re looking for:
Roses never, never,
Roses never, never fall in love.”

[ Never Fall In Love – Emilie Simon ]

As anticipated on my Tumblr, here is a brand new work!
This song by the charming Emilie Simon is especially meaningful to me. It is one of my official anthems, as its lyrics totally represent me in this period, so no wonder I’ve been planning make something out of it; finally the time has come. After an anything but relaxing August, I finally managed to get back on track and go further on my self-portraiture path, as well as my new “murky fashion” direction (or “fashion noire”, if you will; I refuse to put the word “dark”, it’s kind of spoiled by now). After experimenting with make up in Blood, Tears & Gold, this time I approached an almost new theme for me, at least as a model: costume.
I am always very careful when it comes to styling in my photos, I leave no part of the outfit (either mine or my models’) to casualty, and I’ve already worked with somewhat themed outfits, in particular for the Infernal Lords project. Nevertheless, this is thefirst time I actually created a costume myself, and for myself as a model. I usually pose in what can be defined my “everyday clothes” - well, it’s not like doll up in lace and brocade to go buy the bread, but I do wear that kind of clothes on special occasions - so modelling with something I wouldn’t normally wear was an interesting change.
The general idea for the photo, which turned out exactly how I first planned it, stuck me suddenly while listening to the song in the airport on my way home (some half an hour before Blood, Tears & Gold actually), and was most likely born on the trail of the Vogue magazine I was reading before. Although this time no particular photo inspired me, I already had it clear that my own would have to look very fashion with a gothic costume including a ruffled black veil and two red roses, and I would have to look very androgynous; basically, something in between a bridal veil and widow’s weeds. While looking at other fashion photographs, I also thought a heavier make up than usual would be useful, and the basic idea was born.
After making up with Kiko Colour Sphere Duo Eyeshadow and adding the thorny swirls with my MAC eye pencil, I started struggling with the veil to get the effect I wanted. Well, it wasn’t much of a struggle, as it only took four or five hairpins to fix it and a couple of hairgrips to secure the rose, and I was ready to shoot (quite cautiously, though, as the whole thing was not particularly stable). After I was done, I was quite impressed myself with the lighting: it was natural from the window, but looks really professional, and that’s what makes the difference and gives the whole photo a fashion look. I asked some friends and they wouldn’t have guessed I was kneeled in my own bedroom in front of a random white bed sheet rather than in some studio, which was very flattering! Again, I relied on timer and manual focus, to very satisfying results.

I can’t promise there will be some works soon (I did after the last photo, and then the whole month turned out quite awful), but I’ll try my best. Tomorrow, my mother DamaInNero will be back home, and perhaps I’ll be modelling for her too, if we get the occasion. I’ve got plenty of ideas waiting to see the light, so I’m not stuck in some creative block or something, I’m just waiting for the actual possibility to take photos. So, let’s cross our fingers.
Meanwhile, here is the first testing shoot of today’s session. I particularly like it, so I want to share it. Click to enlarge: